Flight

I was engrossed in a conversation last night about growth ....

I'm not talking about size I'm talking about a person growing in spirit to the point where they can feel themselves flying inside..

Its a feeling that each one of us are special, that whatever you set out to do you can achieve, a feeling of such happiness its unsurpassed, a feeling that your souls flying inside totally uplifted and free..

Being totally connected with your spiritual side and able to feel, experience and enjoy everything there is in life to feel without worrying ......

I had a friend round last night and out came the wine, i wouldn't normally drink it but i actually felt i wanted to try it, so its a first for me, so 2 bottles later we stumbled on this conversation and Ive now discovered i actually do like wine ...

She started it off by saying how she sees me, i was pretty shocked, the way she describes me i don't see myself as, or feel anything like she seems to see me, why? ..

why cant we feel it and why do we always see the bad in ourselves, not the good ?

To me she oozes confidence, seems so alive its infectious ... this is someone who really will make the most from her life ...no doubt

She also makes me want to, I'm not in fear of getting older... in fact I am looking forward to every moment, some think when you hit a certain age you have to behave in such a manner and you cant do this, that or the other, as you are simply to old to act like that, i don't believe that..

I missed 10 years of what some class as the best part of their life, to me it wasn't I spent years being abused brought down and controlled until it got to the point I had nothing left , I wasn't growing i was dying..

The older I become the happier I seem to feel about age, it really doesn't matter, we gain knowledge, experience and friendships as we go along to add to what we already have so its all great....

We can all look at ourselves in the mirror and frown about the bits that don't hold up so well and see the marks of age taking shape, but does it really change you as a person ... no...

No matter what you do it wont hold back the clock , you should be happy you're getting old .... many don't get given that gift ...
to just enjoy whats inside them, as that's the part that stays alive ..

Have you ever heard the saying the eyes don't lie, its true, whats around the outside may look completely different with years, but the sparkle will stay in them if you are alive inside...

Work stress, problems, its all takes its toll , although you feel like you're jumping hurdles, later you realise that certain events & past moments have affected the way you feel and little by little they strike at your confidence, bringing it down......

I remember a girl I knew once who had a younger partner he used to joke and say that he would trade her in for a younger model, why ? if he wanted someone younger he should have moved on and not kept her spirit morally down with his supposedly funny jibes & jokes that constantly reminded her of the fact she was getting older, they did eventually split for him to move in with his younger model but, what he hadn't bargained for was he had grown so old in his manner of ridiculing people and couldn't keep someone younger if he tried, if the mind dies then the rest follows suit shortly .... so it all kind of backfired on him ...

What this goes to show is its the mind that keeps you young, so instead of worrying about what you like like in that mirror work towards making yourself feel good inside, that's what we take with us through life ...

What we were talking about last night was, what do you need, feel, want, to make and keep you feeling alive inside, what makes some people feel they can really fly.... without wings...

For each of us its different, what works for one, may not work for another, its that unique way we are each made up that controls what it is we search for, what makes us complete...

While i lay in bed last night it was running through my head, society cant deal with free spirits, they try to keep us down, for whatever reasons it may be, people use words envious, jealousy, but i am the kind of person that gets hurt from that, I don't cause hurt, its just not in my nature, be it friends family whatever, I always have tried to do whats best for them, if someone was picking holes in themself and you could see they were down, wouldn't you try to bring their confidence up, tell them they are sexy and how special they were, help them to try to feel good about themselves again, assure them that they really do matter, or if someone had less that you did and you were able to give without thinking, just so they wouldn't have to struggle quite as much, would you ? .........

If you even had to think about it, then you need to look in and feel how they feel, that's the problem nowadays nobody feels anything.......except the bad stuff ... its sad...

I'm now thankfully back on my journey learning what i need to fly, my way will no doubt be different to some to what makes me happy, i don't care about the material things I do care about the feelings, and want to experience my life in full, I'm not ready to sleep and rip holes in myself anymore, i am what i am and I'm happy with that...

And as for my friend we intend going out having a giggle and causing mayhem...

After all life is exactly what you make it..... and what you make of it ...lol