Friendship and love

As much as we all try to think we can make it alone, at some point in our lives we need it, they bring smiles on days when it pours down of rain, and are there when we need them most...

This week for me, is a really difficult one, I'm filled with memories of things I'm trying to keep as happy thoughts, but when its gone it doesn't feel so happy..does it..

My best friend was taken by a brain tumour 2 years to the day on Sunday, its been in my head all week, things he said, the way he lived his life , as a free spirit, it just goes round and round up there...

I always try to wander off alone somewhere with my thoughts so i don't upset anyone around me by being 'quiet' and deal with it in my own way, but i often sit an wonder,' do they still see us '...

he taught me things, that have got me through some of the most difficult times of my life, was able to make me laugh when i didn't want to, but could also raise my temper up with one sentence..lol

yet we remained so close.. he did use me in some ways, but then doesn't everyone, but i gave as good as i got so that was fair..lol ..but whenever i needed him he was there, unconditionally...

I was moving some material about at the unit on Friday and came across a bag, so thinking it was just odds and ends that i store up, i emptied it out on the table ...

I was lost for words , it was a jumper that he used to wear all the time, it shouldn't have been there, it wasn't supposed to be, but was, i wasn't prepared for it, so it did shake me up somewhat, why now? why this week ...

he was the guy who made me see sense, a long time ago, when i felt that i had no purpose left here, and had drove off in a blur of tears, i didn't know he had followed but he had, and after sitting there all night trying to put back any faith i had in people, he talked me round into going somewhere safe...

He never told a soul about that night, but he did make me realise there was so much more out there, and i gained the strength through his words, to fight back...

This was the same guy i wrote about in love-or-lust.html who was to become my most trusted friend, but he had to leave... it was his time to go.......

It doesn't seem to matter how long ago we lose a loved one, it stays there with us, when we have a good day you're hoping they can see and when those bad ones come, we wish were there for us .. its a friendship that never dies...

This year i will be doing the same thing i do every year and drive somewhere i feel close to him and sit there with my happy thoughts and a candle, i don't want to remember his life with sadness as this guy lead such a colourful life, i can remember calling him the worst names Ive ever called a guy, one night he turned up with a woman who was his 'new love' and the next night with her daughter..lol (and even came back after i called him a paedophile) lol so this guy was as free as they come.. but loved for it..

I take with me lots of memories, that will raise a smile when i need one, its just this time of the year is hard, as you also remember how much you miss them...

So remember if you have special people in your life, think yourself lucky, and let them know how much you care about them today..

After all , you never know when its our time to go...

And as time proves to us, time and time again

Special friendships can last for a lifetime......