Dirty Weekends

Its been a really good weekend. We have been working up our unit and getting mucky as usual, but we managed to get a lot done so are very pleased.
I started to unpack some of his pottery things he's collected over the years, things that my house simply outgrew, as there was so much of it: and they say women are the hoarders..OMG I haven't opened half the boxes yet, theres no end to his tallents.

I have been working on several things this weekend, that need some TLC and got a few finished. I think the old mirror looks lovely enough to grace any dressing table now. It looked so rough when we first got it but the charm was there. My fella does the old tools of course, as he is one... so was his father..lol Get him on the wine and talk about vintage tools and these two are in their elements.

 

He brought me an old leather sewing machine a few weeks back. It was rusty, filthy and needed quite a bit of work, but its now back to best, and working brilliantly. I fell in love with it, as it has so much charm. I plan on training how to use this beauty properly as I think I can do something good with this, that works with what we do. i.e.: Carpenters chisel wraps and mending old Drs bags etc.

The unit is workable now, we have divided it into 2 areas: The mucky area where everything gets cleaned and polished and my area, where they move through to once the base work has been done.

Here is my fella hard at it yesterday working on a Ships lantern:

Our eldest spends his weekends helping his dad now too and is gaining skills as he does.

My next project are these 2 items:

They look like crap at the moment, but the chair will be mine as soon as its done. I have an old oak writing desk at home and this chair matches it lovely.. I bought it with some Xmas money my gran gave me as I could see its potential even through the cobwebs :)
Just having to wait on the stables for a few days, as my friends are collecting all the horse hair up there for me, to make a new seat pad for it!

 

Today my fella is back on his laptop as he has a big job starting tomorrow.. So im spending the day preparing my garden for this weeks downpour! I know everyone moans when it rains, but, the garden does need it.. and it takes me hours to water mine as I still haven't got an outside tap. So you wont find me moaning when it rains.

These 2 lamps came together from a boot sale and were in exactly the same condition. Look at the difference after we worked on the little one.

Mine and Ryan's need to do table!

 My restore project on the leather machine (before it gets sold) its a child's Victorian pram.

 Bloody man has a fascination for Torquay pottery.... so I'm gonna sell it all..

He must have every machine known to man in there. its a mans shed alright. The anvil came this week.

 Our drying corner, when its come out from the glupe.. I love cleaning it.

 Another project of mine to come, I have to bring these back to best along with the matching sofa!

Out with the Old - In with the New

Spring has arrived.. Changing of the seasons and everything else. So much is happening here.
I've been talking to my fella about a change in career for me, I want to make a change and do something different. You get to an age as a woman that you don't want to carry on the same as when you were younger, your tastes change and attitude and it looks like I've arrived at that place.
Im sick of clothes and want to do something different now, using different skills and adding to the ones I have already He's agreed whole heartedly, so we are doing something together that's a bit different, I've also been offered 2 jobs running companies for 2 of his past customers,that I can run from here easily, will allow me enough time to still run this place as mum and still run my project with Steve. Im nervous and excited all at the same time. Will fill you in once we are up and running... You will like this one!
My fella meanwhile is going from strength to strength, today he's spending half the day managing a big site in Essex then he's off to Manchester, I put my machines up for sale yesterday and within 60 mins had sold the 4.. Poor bugger has to deliver them for the chap though but I actually made a good profit on them as well as had use of them for years.. Its enough to help along our new business so he doesn't mind a small detour (huge one more like)
He was headhunted by a good firm a couple of months ago and is now running a Norfolk branch here for them, its a lot of thinking and organising, but he's in his element and it shows. His new van comes next week also, so I get to keep the car for a change, Im really pleased he's done so well, I knew he would..
We have a new unit tucked away where we will go to work on the new business and have been getting it ready to use over the last 2 months (I've been painting and he's been making) I have been thinking about changing my work for a long while now, some will say im mad as its doing so well, but I want something different to get my teeth into, a new journey and I don't believe you can sell clothes to people in the same way as you can when you are younger, unless the clothes are older styles, and I've always been a jeans girl at heart. It just doesn't excite me anymore, I want something I can do as a hobby for the next 20 years but have fun while I do it, so im going to follow my heart.
 I've had years of people copying me and mimicking any new ideas I had and this change means that I will get to spend more quality time with my fella as we both love this and do it as a hobby now, I wont be reliant on earning money as I'll earn enough on the Monday-Friday ones to add to the house pot, but it means weekends away and plenty of walking with my fella and that's what matters most now. I asked my kids what they thought I was good at: the answers came back from cooking, sewing, gardening and creating, but they all said I was good at making something old look amazing, im the first to admit I love charity shops and car boots and this means I also get to up-cycle things and give them a new lease of life.. Perhaps to last another 100 years. There is so much waste in the world, im hoping I can help a little in my own way and have fun at the same time...

Im going to sell everything off in my shops and see where this leads. If it takes off and I do these other jobs well, I will make a complete change and close them all down. My kids all have their own paths to follow and my daughter doesn't like clothes and I don't want to end up like a woman I once knew who we called racing blonde, she would sell young peoples clothes and model them herself even though she was in her fifties.. She was the brunt of so many cruel people but I blame the husband (he was the photographer) for not telling her she was too old to model anymore.. That man was never honest with his wife! and cruel with it.. Our tastes change and so do mannerisms and no one wants to be looked on as mutton dressed as lamb anymore.

Meanwhile, as I think about the kids.. They are currently doing GCSEs  and are studying (yes properly up the table and all) they are all so different in their ways. My daughter and I have grown so close walking our blind dog, we now get time alone that we use to learn about each other, she has grown up so much and really is a lovely young lady, she told me she was struggling with Ryan's girlfriend using all my stuff (my make up, shower stuff, perfumes clothes etc) as she finds this rude! and to be fair sometimes I do get pissed off when I go to pluck my eyebrows and my make up bags disappeared but I don't let it get to me. She only acts how she has been brought up to behave so its simply lack of parenting skills there, im sure we can help her adapt to understand things better as time goes by and now at least Lauren understands that decisions we make as parents do affect our children most, as some kids simply are left not knowing how to behave through no fault of their own..

Lauren wont ask for anything, she wont take any clothes from stock if I ask her what she needs as she thinks this is bad as its a company and not free stuff, so she earns jeans etc for doing chores for me, she's grown up into a little me, she's a jeans girl to the heart and it will suit her in her life's journey of working with animals. Its the sort of job where you get your hands dirty and she doesn't mind in the slightest. She's so much like me that way.. Im always happy with im up to my neck in muck or paint.
Callum was interested in renewable engineering, and has now been accepted into a brilliant college, hes the thinker and puzzle maker in the family and is so much like my real dad its scary. He will always look at what needs doing and find the best solution to get it done. Except empting the bins every morning, he will always go for the recycle bin first and quickly, so Brandon gets the messy household one for not doing it as soon as I asked!

Brandon has learning disabilities and suffers from dyspraxia and  is also dyslexic so hes not as bright with literature etc, but where he blossoms is with art, music and computers so is now hoping to attend college to study animation, his interview is next week. He has already been accepted into college for graphics but he knows what he wants to do and is working his arse off to get into the market he wants to do.. I think he will do it, hes the worker in the family and no one tries harder.

Ryan meanwhile is a year away from being a fully qualified electrician and had his first driving lesson last night with mum hanging out of the window smiling away.. Poor lad!
He's installing his first ground source heat pump next weekend with one of Steve's partners (another business he's built up running in the pipeline) and is now going to work weekends so he can get his lessons done and buy himself a little car.
Im gonna need a list soon to keep up with everything that's happening here. But im strangely very happy with my life at the moment...

JENNIFER PAIGE "CRUSH" original version (Official Video) HQ

Changing Seasons

Is it March already? Where has the time gone... I have got life coming back into the garden at last..

Things at the madhouse are still as mad as ever, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I lost one of my dogs 3 weeks ago, which was heart-breaking. He wasn't the ill one who has diabetes but the one who's always happy Dexter. He had a tumour on his pancreas and over the course of the week became very ill. My fella and me took him to the vets but within hours of the tests starting they told us just how ill he really was. He wouldn't recover from the tumour so the vet asked us to put him to sleep. My fella couldn't do it, so I went in and stayed with him, he's been with me for 10 years so saying goodbye was painful. His sister (my other dog) pined at nights but is adjusting to life on her own now. She's a complete pain in the backside with food so I have to cook her food everyday.. no dogfood for my little diva, fish, chicken and steak mince if you please...lol The vet thinks its amusing as they couldn't get her to eat normally either and as she has to eat before I inject her, so she knows if she doesn't eat it, muggings here will just cook her something else! But she's still with us, so I must be doing something right. I cannot even explain the feeling I have when I take my blind dog out for walks, people look at me like im mad but she knows where she is alright and enjoys it just as much! I literally have to steer for her, but she's very happy and still manages to run like hell round the woods... I've learnt not to get into a deep conversation with my daughter when we walk her together though, Frankie walked into 3 trees last night as Lauren was too busy looking at the birds! That dog must have a tough head or one hell of a headache today...

I've now adopted another young lady here Samantha! One of the triplets Brandon has met a girl at college, who is beautiful.. I couldn't stop staring at her the first time he brought her round for tea, she's very intelligent and has been brought up with all the manners and values a young lady should have, she's also nearly as tall as him which of course means, she's also taller than me! she's now a regular for meals 3 nights a week on top of Ryan's girlfriend Kaytee.. The house is growing fast!

This week has brought us quite a few sleepless nights, we made the mistake of buying a full memory foam mattress a month ago which my fella hates! he cant lie on his side without falling out of bed, (which I found highly amusing) and we have both suffered from backache, so yesterday we had to go out and get a a new one.. I must say a good nights sleep was had by all... I was getting used to  waking up and needing at least 10 mins to stand up straight. Im glad we changed it now as I feel like I've actually been to sleep today :)
So many things are happening here at the moment, we don't know if we are coming, going or just been.... but we are going with the flow and seeing what happens next. One things for sure, its never boring! And I do greatly appreciate my fella when he cooks on Saturdays, as this place seems to have doubled its occupancy now! Its apparently the 'Inn Place' to be and the foods great! (just ask the dog!)

Welcoming in 2014 A New Year

I've been having a giggle looking through Facebook today, at all the parties and goodwill messages sent! Is it me, or is anyone else sick of festivities? I have cooked for just about everyone this Christmas, had far too many late nights and early starts (I have to get up at 6am regardless to inject my dog) so this morning after a 3am bedtime, I got up at 6 reluctantly, fed and injected the dog and went back to bed... Rarely done, but something I needed this morning. I am well and truly knackered!
We spent a lovely Christmas entertaining family and friends, but today im finding myself saying 'No Thanks' to any invites coming.. I just want a quiet night in like a hermit, with a 2 hour bath to sort myself out, as I've had no time, and no visitors! So am cooking something completely un-turkey based and making a Spanish omelette..lol
My sons g/friend has become a second daughter so I've shipped them out round a mates for the night, rather than having the mates here.. simply bliss. The other kids spend half their time in their rooms anyway so the night looks promising and quiet.
This year has I feel been the most hardest yet! My fellas broke his hand, theres been endless challenges and changes and to top off the lot my little sisters hubby has been in a coma for 5 weeks fighting for his life.  The strain of worrying about everyone has grown so deep. I spent Xmas praying Jason would come out of his coma 'whole' as the Dr's felt he could be paralysed or brain damaged, that prayer was answered. He's awake and now off the ventilator, although we still don't know what caused him to have a 3 week seizure? she was in pieces and the worry and stress was spread throughout the sisters. They have certainly had an emotional start to their relationship! she nearly died, then he did. But its cemented the fact these guys really do want to be together.. My hopes are not for me or resolutions filled with things I want to do, but my sister and her little family, that this year things are better and easier for them... I know we can deal with most things here, as we have got pretty good at climbing mountains and braving storms. I would just love for her, not to have to go through any more grief...
My fella is starting 2014 with a very sexy beard and 2 stone lighter than he was in the summer. So we are going back to dancing again this year. I miss my music and it will be nice to meet up with our friends again. Its our 21st year together and I love the man more than ever. So its time we had a flirt with each other on the dance floor and went back to salsa.
He really has the naughtiest eyes when dancing and im looking forward to seeing, just how wide I can open them..lol
As for what 2014 brings? I will turn each page over, day by day and see what stories it holds..
Im healthy, happy and loved and that's the best gift I could ever wish for....

Happy New year to everyone! I hope 2014 brings you all Health, Love and Happiness.

Power Cut - They Will be Blown Away

The weekend went far too quickly! My fella had to leave Sunday night due to the storm, so it didn't feel like id seen him this week. We were both knackered Friday from the week and by the time shopping and house stuff was done on Saturday it was gone..
I'm not keen on sitting on my laptop at night as I like spending time with my tribe here, but Skype allows me to talk to Steve and catch up with the days events, its exciting stuff his end and I can tell he's really enjoying this challenge. The mans never happy unless he's full pelt at something, I honestly don't know anyone who has so much passion and drive, its relentless! I still have to wake him up every morning though, some things never change...
Last nights call didn't come, so I decided to watch a movie with the kids, Barry's been brilliant and gets me all the best movies to watch, he knows once Steve's home at weekends I don't get the remote, its a mans thing apparently. I waited until 10 then decided to have a bath, sending a couple of snidey messages before I went :) like " Enjoy your pints etc. as im going to bed now" you get the meaning,  when Ryan gets a text from him panicking as he's gone back to the digs to a power cut and no water! they got the worst of the storm, hence the no Skype call! Talk about dropping yourself in the cart Jo.. His words made me laugh (wicked aren't I) " Please tell mum im sitting in the middle of a bloody field of sheep freezing cold,trying to get enough signal to send this. I'm cold, theres no power, no water and It feels like I may as well be living on mars!"
I cant take back the messages of course which he will get once the powers comes on but he knows what im like by now, and I know what he's usually like - hence the messages I left in the 1st place!.

Today im moving all my stock across. I was hoping the triple trio would get up and help but there's no sign of movement up there yet, it must be time for mums singing in the bath! I have a new way of getting them up by simply singing a power ballad all in the same note!! its bloody awful and hard to do but it usually results in Lauren shouting insults and the boys coming downstairs to avoid it. Perhaps ill sing a Whitesnake track today as im feeling energetic ;)

Changing of the Seasons

Things have changed here, yet again! Its all good, but taking some getting used to.
My fella got offered a proper job! yes, honestly. This is a position he's wanted to have a go at since he was in the industrial game. He's now a contracts manager! and i'm back to where I was 10 years ago and running this place single handed again..lol I actually feel energised! Its all a bit different to computer work for him but he's loving the challenge. Computer work is all ok but what they don't tell you is you get stuck sitting on your arse all day and it drains the life out of you. He wanted a new challenge and to get fit again, so to work higher up the chain in an environment he knows like the back of his hand was too good to turn down. He just met someone who needed someone like him at the right time and place and its all gone from there.
The kids are older (still mad as hatters) but lovely and with Ryan now in a full time electrical apprentice placement, its all working out well for him.
We have decided to change sleeping arrangements now (as he has a steady girlfriend) so instead of him staying out every weekend at hers, we are creating enough space for her to stay here. It doesn't seem right he's 18 now, but with the triplets nearly 16 now i'm wise enough to know Kaytee wont get any peace with Brandon hovering around, so i'm changing rooms and moving Ryan into my old stock room so he has some privacy, the boys then get their own bedrooms so it will cut out the arguments at bedtimes hopefully too and stop my pictures from falling off the walls when Callum kicks his bed!
My fellas working away at the moment Mon-Fri. So i'm trying to catch up on all the little jobs i've neglected here. There's a list as long as my arm to get through and i've ended up on Skype all morning talking to my uncle (giving him a shopping list for Asda) so I need to get on with it.
Im on a mission this week to move all my stock over to another place, so at least it will help get me fit. I've just got to move out my fellas winery first and put that in his new shed.
I've been engrossed in books this month. I started by reading a book called 'Outlander' by Diana Gabaldon and im hooked.. 6 books in and i'm loving the characters. I now wish I lived in the 1740s and there was such a thing as travelling stones! Places like Stonehenge that magically transported you back into times where there was no internet and oversold crap, where they lived with the land and not just took from it like society does now.
Did I mention my daughter wants to be a farmer! yes really, I wonder where she gets that from....lol
Anyway onwards and upwards today.. I've been up since 3am (making hubbies packed lunch and breakfast) so I better get up before I doze off.. Kids will be home soon!

Feeling Peaceful

It was a really good weekend, sunshine, the forest, followed by the beach. How lovely is this weather?
We both took the weekend off and spent some quality time as a family at Sherringham Park and then the beach. We walked aprox 10 miles this week, which felt great, the kids were great company and really enjoyed the day. We ended up getting lost (which I actually enjoyed) as we took and old steam train back, which didn't actually go to where we thought, so ended up in the middle of another forest cracking up laughing as it was, by that point dark.

My fellas been in a romantic mood all week which has made me smile.. It must be the heat!
Unfortunately his work has gone mad so he's juggling as usual, but as long as he takes time off we wont miss the summer. It's partly why I did the garden differently, at least when its all lit up at night, its too pretty to ignore, so we spend hours out there talking. Its a lovely way to end a day.
We have lots of plans and things on the go, its exciting to wake up again and wonder what's going to happen today.
This weekend we are throwing a BBQ. We have a night out on Friday with my family, which i'm looking forward to, but Saturday its Aylsham car boot followed by sangria and good food. Now I have a garden we can actually sit down and enjoy it in. I love Saturdays!
The plants are maturing and its starting to look really colourful now. I didn't mention the lights id got, so no one knew the place would glow at night, until it did. I cant wait to show my granddad! He's like me and loves lights.
I'm still not sure whether I want fish in the pond yet, ive planted wild watercress hanging from a bucket, that the water runs through and have some amazing plants to put inside for wildlife growing strong and to be honest, its enough...  I just wanted peaceful.. and sitting there watching the butterflies and birds, listening to the water, brings me that.  I'm a flip flop girl at heart and always will be.
I finally got to pick some of the cherries off my tree, which was brilliant. I only take half, so the birds enjoy them too, but so far its given me 6lbs and its still going strong. I'm going to soak them in brandy then half coat them in chocolate. I tried them once at chant and never forgot them...
This year feels all about family.. My family are coming together strong and even my fellas is now too, we have both his sisters close now and it feels lovely to see them so often. Things change and so do people, and sometimes time changes people for the best.
This afternoon i'm going to Anglia square as usual with my grim reaper uncle! He's really not, that's just what my mum calls him. He has me in hysterics when he starts teasing my mum, he times her, to see how long we are there, before she starts moaning... so far the record is 6 mins... lol
I realise how chilled out my house is and appreciate that although we have 6 adults living here, we are a really peaceful house regardless. I couldn't see it before! but I can now. I always wondered why people came here? and thought they were just nuts! but after talking to them and asking why, you start to see through others eyes and realise just how special this place is...
Every day is: Just what you make it. And we are rich in a way, that money could never buy.
I think at last we have found our balance...

Sex saved a life

Things always come together, don't they say? Well this week they have!
My little sister was rushed to hospital Saturday night by ambulance, she had terrible pain in her stomach and couldn't stand. She blamed herself, as she has now found a lovely fella and their relationship moved up a level to a sexual nature, this she thought was what caused the pain, that she shouldn't have had sex.
 After endless blood tests and drips they discovered she had contracted a super bug at the hospital when she had her hysterectomy done 6 months ago, she had cancer cells that were spreading badly so they took it all away, the infection has been living in her wound since and growing and when she then had sex for the first time since the op, showed up what was happening inside.
The superbug had spread to her organs, the Drs said that if she hadn't had sex she would have died of blood poisoning, as it was everywhere inside her and no one knew!  because this chap was 'forgive my pun' built like a king dong! he may have actually saved her life.
Its been a close call, she's now been in hospital over a week with my mum trying to look after her 3 kids and endless animals, we are all taking it in turns to help, but are so relieved to see her looking so much better in herself last night, they have found the right antibiotic to kill the infection finally, so hopefully now she will make a full recovery.
Her poor fella doesn't know where to look! he's getting endless jibes about sleeping with his girlfriend for the first time and putting her in hospital from his brother! but he's there everyday with her and supporting her through this which shows how keen he is.
What basically happened was because she was so poorly inside, having sex perforated a layer of skin that had been holding it all inside her body. I'm glad she decided to have a 'fifty shades' night of rampant lust or I wouldn't have my sister with me anymore.
On the amusing side I cant wait for her to get well, so I can invite the poor chap round for a BBQ! I have some giant hot dog sausages all ready with some tiny little rolls to stuff them into...lol

Proud

Where did Monday go? I missed it!
Things are finally getting sorted out for my fellas sister, the kids start school today, which I'm sure will help them get some normality in their lives. The smallest is adamant he's not going to school, so I expect there may be a few tantrums this morning.. Bless, He wants to come back here as he likes our cooking better than mums.
Next week is my grandparents 70th wedding anniversary! I thought id done well at 20 years with Steve but when I see my grandparents together it really does bring a tear to the eye, they are just made for each other and still very much in love. Granddad was telling me last week when we invited them up for a meal about his erection problems ;) yes literally. He says he gets tremendous cramps in his big toes so sits there all night with what looks like 2 great erections! I nearly choked on my potatoes and couldn't stop giggling all afternoon. My eldest sister went on holiday last year with them and says one night when she took granddad back to his hotel room (rather worse for wear) that he hadn't got into the door when he started. "You are in for a good night tonight Gladys" my sister couldn't shut the door fast enough... lol
Nanny has just gotten over skin cancer at 90 and had an operation on her face last week. She wasn't worried about the operation, just concerned she couldn't have her hair done so its nice for granddad.
I forgot to mention in my last blog about one of my dogs 'Frankie' its a little scruffy thing I named after my best friend when he was alive. She was on a diet with her brother dog 'Dexter' here but got very ill. She lost over half her body weight in 2 weeks and then stopped eating completely! The vets didn't know what to do as she couldn't stand up so suggested I put her to sleep. She is 10 years old.
I took her home that weekend as they couldn't just keep her on a drip to feed her and said that if she hadn't eaten by Monday I would do what was best for her, I couldn't see her suffering like that.
On the Saturday night my tough old fella- who apparently doesn't like kids or dogs, sat feeding her creamed rice on a teaspoon! and she ate it! we then spent £1,500 trying to find out why she was so ill and discovered she had diabetes. 3 weeks after being diagnosed she lost her sight completely, within a week!  We took her out for her usual run in the woods, for her to crash head long into a huge tree!She simply couldn't see it, we both just stood there horrified.
The vets showed us other dogs that coped just fine being blind so we have just adjusted things here to help her. You wouldn't believe its the same dog, she is brilliant! I get up at 6am every morning to feed her and give her insulin and then again every evening, but for a dog that was on deaths door she is inspiring and also very happy. She still goes into the woods every day, just stays on a long length lead that I try and steer for her. Her sense of smell seems to have heightened and she simply smells her way around the house and garden now. I'm glad we didn't give up on her, she is harder work than our other dog, but is definitely worth it.
Sunday was a really good day, my eldest son Ryan was presented with a huge honour 'The Queens badge'
They held a big service and unfortunately we had to sing! with me in hysterics laughing at my fella trying to hit high notes! he's as bad as me! but overall I came out feeling the proudest mum in Britain as all us mums feel with our children. He's 18 now and has spent 12 years working in the community and helping others to get this award, he spent a month down my nanny and granddads community area, along with so many other places, serving up dinners in his spare time and taking 30 elderly people shopping every week! he's one of the most caring, calm and happy people I know, I'm really fortunate to have such lovely kids.
The other boys are 2 years behind him and are now working towards theirs. We will be the 1st family ever to have all the brothers get this award so its something good for the other 2 to aim at now. It also does them good to help others and help their planet and not sit on street corners smoking like most do around here.

Weekends

Well we got through the week somehow! To say it was manic is an understatement.
Things didn't go according to plan as my fella came back with the kids and his sister, he said he felt it was better for her to cut all ties back there. So we have spent the week sleeping on the sofa so they could have our bed. Some things have alarmed me, but we're doing everything we can to help the kids.
They have now all been placed into temporary housing together, its clean and just up the road from us so we can help. Hopefully then after a period of time they will find them permanent housing.
The week was pretty stressful and I was knackered by the lack of sleep and his sisters constant loud voice..lol We don't live like that here, we may have a busy house, but its also calm, she needs to learn a thing or two from her brother. Even my kids hid up!
We didn't get any work done all week, so this week we have lots to catch up on. As well as sort out a school for the kids and doctors etc.

Guests Coming to Stay

Its been a very long night. I've been tossing and turning most of the night worrying.
My fella got a call yesterday from his sister, who lives away. We haven't heard from her for a while so hoped everything was ok, the last we did hear was she was getting married at Xmas out of the blue, she never even mentioned she had a fella!
What has taken place was a spiral of hitting rock bottom, the new husband was a heavy drinker, abusive and lazy, instead of him raising to her standards and cleaning himself up, she sunk to his level and started what now uncovers to end up drinking daily with him and neglecting everything else.
Her two elder kids are old enough to go their own way, but the two little ones (6 and 10) is what's been concerning me, they are really sweet little kids and deserve some stability and security, its not their fault. As from last week they have been homeless, her landlord evicted them so its been garages and friends sofas for a week. Yesterday she woke up and phoned for help, the social services want to take the kids into care until she can get another place to live. She's stayed in the same job for 11 years so has a good job there, what she doesn't have is enough for a deposit and a months rent up front.
We have offered to take the 2 small ones here until she can sort herself out housing wise and get a home ready for these kids, they must have had such a shit time of things recently. I can get them into a local school while they are staying and although we are already squashed with 4 teenagers we are going to make room somehow... It looks like me and Steve will be getting the couch.
My family are all saying I cant take them as I have enough on my plate now, but as long as my lot all help me here with them we will manage just fine. Its better they are with family who love them even if it is a big one, than be taken into care in my eyes.
The kids are really excited they are 'going on holiday to aunties' and arrive today! meanwhile I need to buy some sleeping bags for me and Steve..
You really do have to be mad to live here...lol

Where do i start?

Its June 1st. So I thought it was time I started to write again.
Life has gone on regardless and I'm still kicking, although still non the wiser to what kept stopping my heart. My dongle is still in my chest and no plans to take it out yet. People stare of course, but its just part of me now and it doesn't bother me anymore. I think the most changes that took place was the confidence we both lost. It creeps in slowly that you stop doing things, without realising, but its time now to restart our journey of life again and not let the bumps and bruises win. One things clear in our life and that is 'we are both fighters' Summers coming and so we are preparing for one that we can take time to enjoy this year...
The house has seen so many changes, the kids are growing up fast, and whoever said girls are harder to raise than boys was being honest. My daughter is so much like I was at her age - god help us.
My eldest lad is now 18 and makes me so proud, he's turning out to be a lovely man with what seems the best of us both here.. He has my patience and happy attitude to life and my partners work ethic. The other 3 are at that hard age where you have to try and guide them into a mind set of mum and dad cannot do it all for you forever, so get off your butts and prepare!. Brandon although he has learning difficulties is always up at 6 with me and is the least laziest of the 3..

Things you want in life seem to change as you get older. My fella used to want money and a nice big house and all the trimmings, but doesn't anymore. He just wants time now.. time to walk, explore and just have time to do the things we want to do. My philosophy was always " be happy with what you have, anything else that comes along then is a bonus". He can see where I come from now :)

He has after 20 years agreed that I can have a pond! silly I know, but I find fish and running water peaceful, so I'm turning my once overgrown bamboo garden (which has now been recycled into canes for the allotment growers to share) into somewhere I can potter about in and plant, thanks to 30 old sleepers that have travelled from Norway and lots of hard work. These were sleepers that weren't any good anymore as they are all warped and bent! its amazing to think: one mans rubbish will be one girls dream garden. Nothings not any good, its called imagination and thankfully I still have that!

Its not going to be an ordinary pond, I don't like things that look like everyone else has, this is being created so me and my fella can sit out there with a glass of wine and just relax. The bases are all in so today i'm going to Aylsham car boot sale to pick up some old bits to help add some character.

See the Light

Ive come to a conclusion early this morning i want to do some painting.. pretty random even for my standards, I was going to decorate the kitchen, but I'm being pulled more into need to draw and paint direction with people.. I used to love doing portraits when i was younger.

The last 6 weeks have been much better, Ive had no more problems health wise, except for the fact i don't like how i feel at the moment.. Sluggish. That I'm going to start working on today and try to slowly build myself back up again strength wise. I haven't been riding for 2 months and miss it greatly, its the same with salsa, a couple of lessons where my fella took me gingerly. I'm feeling pretty well now so want to reignite a few sparks my health put a damper on.. My things i couldn't do anymore but want to start again..

I'm beginning to believe my fellas theory of stopping smoking could have done this to me.. I did smoke pretty heavy, I'll admit that now, the shock of not smoking could have indeed caused whats happened.. I don't regret it though, I'm glad i stopped. I feel so much better in other ways.
I brought my fella a home brew kit, when he was shut indoors looking after me and positive things have come from this spell in our lives.. One being hes bloody good at making wine now! I've become a dab hand at jams, bread and cooking in general but using only what i grow in my garden to cook with.. Its a challenge and brings such a feel good factor when you get to eat and drink what you've created.....

I never have been a wine drinker which is a shame as there's nothing my fella likes better than cooking a lovely meal and sharing a bottle, so I'm now in training to learn to appreciate its taste and share a bottle over dinner.. after all hes made it so its the least i can do.. We gave my sister a bottle yesterday as she turned up with a beautiful set of copper frying pans for me to swap for jam! they have been hanging in her kitchen unused for years so she brought then to what she called a good home! She phoned up last night pretty late with my mum telling me my fella has hidden talents.. as his wine was bloody amazing stuff..lol

Ive got this huge urge to create stuff, read, paint and go canoeing so the next month along with riding and salsa I'm hoping to do just that.

The dongle (that's what i call it) that's implanted into my chest, reminds me every morning that you really do need to make the most of every day you get. I was guilty of taking things for granted as much as the next man and thankfully have seen the light..

I've even managed to talk my fella into hiring a canoe with me and seeing how many ducks we can scare the crap out of.....

My mum is trying to rebuild her life and I'm the first person up, telling her she needs to do this, watching her get knocked back again yesterday reminds me just how selfish some people can be, but its not about those people... its all about us and what good things we can do with our time here.. Its called making the most of it and not taking anything for granted..

For me today starts with positive thoughts and a belief that things are and will, now change for the better..

Going for a walk

Yesterday was a really good day. Not as good as it could have been as Ryan didnt go, I couldnt get him and his girlfriend in the car so next year im hiring a mini bus and taking tents.
We wanted to camp but only the stall holders are allowed so im having a stall next year selling bags and belts, that way we can stay over and make a weekend of it. Paul and Kate are up for camping too. I've just gotta do this, the urge is getting worse to just grab a tent and go now..
The more i look at these festivals the more i like the thought of going to them all.. so thanks to Saturday i think im gonna have a look round and see how many more are going on.. That i can take a tent to !!
Im thinking of going hiking soon with my fella to either Ireland Scotland and the Lake District.. Everytime i see an advert on the TV for them seeing those hills and all that greenery, feels like its calling out to me at the moment.. I want to feel the wind in my hair and walk for England.... Literally, we can just stop off at b & bs along the way when we need a shower and end up where we end up... In the lake sounds appealing too.. Those places look amazing.. saturday there was a group there who played Irish folk music, i didnt know at the time but 2 were Laurens school teachers! They were bloody brilliant, I couldnt help my feet it just made you feel so happy, Happy music.. So ive asked her today so go get me his CD.. I could just see myself joining them with a violin playing away......hehe What a great thing to do..
Yesterday i spent the day cooking.. It didn't start out like that, but the kids and my fella kept going on about bread, so i ended up being slung off my computer and spending the day cooking, they were eating it faster than i could cook! The bread ive been told is the best yet! Not that i can eat the bugger..lol
Im now going to tackle the packing as the orders are printing out as i type, and im grabbing the poor dogs again for an hour and going for another walk..... They will think ive lost the plot with all these walks..

Bookworm

I took an unexpected day off yesterday and really enjoyed it! I did the packing early and made the mistake of reading an intro to a book someone had sent me the link to online......... That was it, for the day..
I was ribbed constantly by my fella as i wasn't working and do you know what? I really didn't give a hoot, it was worth it, so i ignored everyone and read the whole book! I haven't done that for years.. I used to love reading but ended up not having enough time so stopped ...........My fellas face was a picture, he just couldn't help himself and kept calling me lazy, hoping I'd bite and stop reading it.......Nope.. Yesterday i was lazy, i did what i wanted for a change, not what everyone else wanted me to do........All 103 chapters of it...hehe...
Today its the Barford festival.... I'm so looking forward to this.......
I feel strangely refreshed this morning............ Watch out world!

Positive

It was so lovely and hot last night, It felt like i was on a holiday!
The last couple of days im getting more back to normal here, it feels good. The garden is looking my kind of lovely, 3 days on the trot ive come up with a great meal from its offerings.
My fella left early with the kids so ive got the day to myself. I really hope this meeting goes well for him, its a national company and would set him off on a bloody good footing. Its important.
After saying that mum now phoned to see if i wanted some company today, she couldnt have timed it better, id love some....... I have bought paints to redo the table and furnishings in the kitchen..
I need to get past this week healthily.. Its the 5th week since the last fit which is usually the week it starts again.. Fingers crossed it doesn't happen this time around. Im feeling good and want to stay that way.....
I cant wait til it rains today.. Im wearing my shorts and intend standing outside in it later.. When you feel a need to do something then you should.. So mums gonna get a giggle today.

Sunrise

Headaches finally cleared this morning.. Thank god. I thought i was gonna miss the sunshine!
By the way where is it?
Muggins here went out watering the plants last night with one eye closed and all.... They are probably all drowned this morning out there.
The dressings are finally off properly this morning, thanks to a long bath, I can see what im dealing with now, its not too bad, just a bit lumpy. Its not hurting to move at all anymore so i must be getting used to it.. My fella had a look and said it was fine, then reminded me its gotta be cut open again to come back out! Thanks for that! Talk about cheering me up.. I have a secret recipe for scars and quick healing which i know works so will be using that now.. It doesn't hide up the fact you can see the device really clearly inside my chest, but its there to help til they know whats happening with me.... Hopefully nothing more.... I was pretty down, id stopped smoking on top of that and stranger things can happen.... It was def a low point of my life..
Its wine making day here, i cleaned the garden ready and my fellas promised he will move all the bottles from outside on the decking.. Its a mess.. hes turning his shed into a brewery today instead which will be amusing.. that means dads in the shed pissed when he disappears then!
The house is so quiet today, just Brandon and Callum in bed asleep.. Ryan's probably got the biggest smile on the planet this morning waking up on holiday with his bird.....
I'm gonna attempt a few sit ups this morning and am gonna drive myself down the tanning center.. I'm fed up with feeling and looking a mess so need to do something about it now i can move properly..
Its my fellas birthday on the 30th so i need to try and find something nice... I think at the moment all he wants is a good piss up and night away from here so I'm gonna have a look and see what i can come up with.. hes pretty low in himself as hes fat (they are his words not mine) it doesn't make any difference to me as hes still the same inside, but he doesn't see it like that.. Ive got a fucking square box shoved down my cleavage so i don't exactly feel very sexy either........ at least it wont poke into him with a bit of extra meat on him............lol
The BBQ is gonna get cleaned today and subtly I'm gonna just keep cooking chicken and salad for the next month for tea..........
Hes going back to work properly next week with Paul.. Its no good staying here just in case. Hes been doing alternate days up the office but needs to go back now.. I agree with him......

Sunsets

I feel so optimistic today, some days when you wake up, you just feel happy. Todays one of those days..
The suns shining, the birds are singing their heads off and it feels good.
Ive been out in the garden with my tea to see whats changing out there and smiling secretly to myself when i see new life peeking through.
Tonight i was hoping to go to the beach, but plans have been changed, my fella, my eldest son and his girlfriend all want to go to salsa so are taking the car.. he wasnt happy about me driving myself up waxham beach alone in case any thing happens to me when im there...
The last time i went to chant i came home so calm and happy inside, it does really make a difference. I got lost of course trying to find roses place but my fella ended up being a taxi which meant i could also have a drink.. I was lost in the chant that night, i felt like i was floating.. It was magical... So i'll wish my friends a warm summer solstice and hope mother nature brings them an amazing sunset to add to their evening.....xxx

We have started the changes to the site, which have been amusing, ive been changing pictures like a looney to load in bigger sizes but love whats happening to it so far.. Im also working on the other shop as thats next..
Im very reluctant to do photos anymore but my fellas telling me to try them, The fact that il have to sit and clone over a lump doesn't make it appealing but its like my fella says, its not in there for ever...This is only temporary........
Tomorrow im going with David for a couple of days to his sisters place to get it ready for her, my eldest has been there all week helping and cannot see what me sitting indoors is gonna do to help, as long as someones there who knows what to do its all you can do, so my fella said yes and is putting all his meetings into the next 2 days so he can do what he needs to while im away during the day. I can't wait to see what the decorators have done up there, tomorrow im taking some pictures of that quaint kitchen of hers to get some ideas for mine as its time i redecorated... Its to die for with that beautiful little range oven... Hopefully i wont though, or i'll be in the doghouse with my lot..........lol
Right back to work now.. I want to get this fnished today..its coming on a treat..

Fathers day

Fathers day has been amusing in our house today.. My fella got up at 6 to wake the boys for their paper rounds, thats usually my job so it made me laugh that the one day he should have a lie, in he gets up!
Hes really into this home brew lark now so i bought him something extra from us all for putting up with us for another year, a 30 bottle set Shiraz/Merlot red wine kit.. With the 5 demi johns he has outside filled with ginger beer and the rest of it, it should allow a few amusing slurry nights.. Im getting right into my home baking now thanks to river cottage and am getting good at it according to this lot, so ill be in the kitchen doing the food, he can make the booze.. Perfect for nights round the firepit with friends........ Although im not sure the neighbours will agree...
We are trying salsa starting on Tuesday, i can't wait to start getting out again.. Im just gonna have to be careful who i dance with..or stick to bachata..
Im asking Dayle to come up and sort my hair out this week, I had the longest bath and hair wash yesterday which made me feel so much better..But it needs cutting badly now.
I want to go see Bob at the hospital today, he did bring me up and is my dad in every sense of the word where it counts. hes managing to say yes and no now, which is good and although hes still paralysed he is making a slow progress.. Hes managed to keep breathing through 3 strokes up there and a brain hemorrhage so is an inspiration to us all.. Even when you feel theres no hope, you need to keep trying....
The kids bought Steve a bloody stupid drinking hard hat! which hes promised to wear today, he can drink away while he makes some wine........ Its time i started to drink it with him now, even the drs said red wines good for you... otherwise he will be blot toed with all that lot to drink.. My garden is home to a brewery and Mediterranean salad garden which looks and smells lovely... Im like a child out there every morning seeing what i can put with dinner growing....
Ive been doing my own olive oils here with chilli and garlic and all sorts of herbs, the difference it adds to the cooking is briliant.. Ive got orders for the next batch and shit loads of jam orders waiting... I knew i liked growing things and cooking but i didnt realise just how much everyone else likes me doing this.
Its not been nice being shut indoors all the time, but i guess thats the positive i can take with me on this, ive experimented and really found something i like doing, growing stuff and then creating gorgeous meals to use it up with, its that feel good feeling you get seeing everyones faces when they munch away happily, knowing you made it from nothing..... Ive got a greenhouse full of nearly ready cucumbers which bring a smile to my face every morning when i see how big they are getting...........how sad is that! lol