Where do i start?

Its June 1st. So I thought it was time I started to write again.
Life has gone on regardless and I'm still kicking, although still non the wiser to what kept stopping my heart. My dongle is still in my chest and no plans to take it out yet. People stare of course, but its just part of me now and it doesn't bother me anymore. I think the most changes that took place was the confidence we both lost. It creeps in slowly that you stop doing things, without realising, but its time now to restart our journey of life again and not let the bumps and bruises win. One things clear in our life and that is 'we are both fighters' Summers coming and so we are preparing for one that we can take time to enjoy this year...
The house has seen so many changes, the kids are growing up fast, and whoever said girls are harder to raise than boys was being honest. My daughter is so much like I was at her age - god help us.
My eldest lad is now 18 and makes me so proud, he's turning out to be a lovely man with what seems the best of us both here.. He has my patience and happy attitude to life and my partners work ethic. The other 3 are at that hard age where you have to try and guide them into a mind set of mum and dad cannot do it all for you forever, so get off your butts and prepare!. Brandon although he has learning difficulties is always up at 6 with me and is the least laziest of the 3..

Things you want in life seem to change as you get older. My fella used to want money and a nice big house and all the trimmings, but doesn't anymore. He just wants time now.. time to walk, explore and just have time to do the things we want to do. My philosophy was always " be happy with what you have, anything else that comes along then is a bonus". He can see where I come from now :)

He has after 20 years agreed that I can have a pond! silly I know, but I find fish and running water peaceful, so I'm turning my once overgrown bamboo garden (which has now been recycled into canes for the allotment growers to share) into somewhere I can potter about in and plant, thanks to 30 old sleepers that have travelled from Norway and lots of hard work. These were sleepers that weren't any good anymore as they are all warped and bent! its amazing to think: one mans rubbish will be one girls dream garden. Nothings not any good, its called imagination and thankfully I still have that!

Its not going to be an ordinary pond, I don't like things that look like everyone else has, this is being created so me and my fella can sit out there with a glass of wine and just relax. The bases are all in so today i'm going to Aylsham car boot sale to pick up some old bits to help add some character.