Changes

Another week started and im still here! Thats a pretty amusing thought to have but very true!
My fella took me out yesterday near Stalham to a car boot which i must say, i really enjoyed. We started with breakfast out in a little cafe and just stayed out all day doing all sorts or random stuff, it was a really good day. I went up to see Bob in the afternoon and came back to watch my sorts of dvds and just chilled out.. I had to smile as he would never watch chick films like Burlesque but did this time, without moaning..lol
Im panicking today looking at this place but not allowed to do it.. i've promised... and as i woke up feeling like im pissed again im keeping that promise..Riding is a no no sadly..
I've been keeping a diary of these episodes and they are coming exactly the same time as last months were, to the day, one week after my period finishes...I get a week where i cannot stand up without looking like a piss head.
Im hoping this week my body will go back to some kind of normality.. I have things planned starting tonight at bachata class.. its not high energy dancing its more like slow and sexy.. im really looking forward to it.
We had invites to go out every night this week which i was a bit worried about.. so have agreed to do every other night all being well instead, hes worrying as he says i look ill and has refused to leave me to go to work but ive lied today and told him i feel much better.. He wouldn't have gone over wise and cannot sit here all day just incase i collapse.. If i go i'll go regardless, ill just make sure i get down on the floor quick!
Hes working on the kids now and making them do all the housework when they get home from school, Ryan always has helped its the other 3 that dont...I went to bed early and could hear him calling them down one by one last night to talk to them..
My drs signed me off work now saying im unfit to work so hes trying to sort out what to do from here.. My big sisters on call to do the packing from next week if i need her..
He cried Saturday saying he doesnt want me to die and telling me ive got to fight this...... I am fighting..
I got myself one of those E cigarettes that i carry around with me.. its not clinically classed as smoking but it will give me nicotine .. Until i know whats causing these its advisable.....My fella took the piss at first until these fits got worse, now hes agreeing with it......as a security precaution..
I dont think it was the stopping smoking, as i had the pain a few months back when i was still smoking.. I think too many years fighting and living with stress levels most people wouldn't understand, hurt more than i thought... Im worn out and need to take some time off ..hopefully without surgery involved but i dont know that much yet, ill do what i have to or i wont be here to argue with them..
Like Sasha said, time for a lifestyle change Jo.......... Yep, my fellas adamant and will be changing with me on this though.. Work aint gonna come first anymore, its had enough off us... he wouldnt go at all last week and just said fuck work when anyone phoned.. but it will take a few weeks to sort out all the paperwork needed here and get some help, the stress hes carrying at the moment is visable... so im trying to help him by sending him out.... I have a neighbour up the road who cannot run! on call if i need help i just have to ring, its like something off faulty towers... bit like the NHS service really.. 2 weeks waiting to see why your heart stops beating and you have brain seizures...... good job its not life threatening then..........lol

Lifestyle changed are needed now... so we are gonna do just that and change everything......