April Showers

Well its the type of shower i really fancy....lol


Its been a great couple of weeks, I'm still decorating what started just as a kitchen ended up going through different rooms, but once i had started one room i wanted to carry on..lol

Sunshine always makes me feel good so when its shining i want to be doing something happy..

I cant believe its April already the year is flying by, so much has changed here my life is certainly very different to last year, i love the transformation and enjoying each day as much as possible.. we are working hard both in the office and at home, but the difference is we are also enjoying a social life outside of the work and the home...

My fella said that i don't like change, but some changes were definitely for the best and the ones we have undergone are all positive ones... works good, were off to Paris next week for a couple of days and nearly at the end of a dreaded school holiday ! i got the short stick and have been working from here for the last 2 weeks with the kids, but it has allowed me the time to get my home back in order paint everything and reorganise my garden so its all looking much brighter here for it...

I'm back on track trying to look after myself better, enjoying the new friendships we have found, and planning some really fun stuff... spring and summers light and warm evenings open up so much, winters always the time i take stock of what i want in life, whats important and plan the good stuff.... i have a rapidly growing list ! lol

We will be having our holiday very shortly, I'm really excited about spending some time out from being mum and feeling carefree.. after we get back its camping in those woods with the kids and hopefully passing on my love for the outdoors, Ive got my little bits to make dens and keep the young people entertained with Ryan on guitar and me singing round a bonfire it should certainly be memorable if nothing else...lol

Today I'm attacking the front garden, the back is now ready for my fella and his tools tomorrow to add that finishing touch to the new decking, Ive planted apple, cherry and nectarine trees with jasmine, violets and grapevines just about everywhere else, so this year i will have a garden i can really enjoy, my fella is bringing home a new patio suite tomorrow, i have lovingly restored it and claimed the spring look like chair as mine (its beautiful and very comfy)... I'm definitely making the most of whatever sunshine we get and getting outside as much as possible...

Riding is getting very interesting, Ive found a local school just up the road from me within walking distance (i didn't know it was even there!) so Wednesdays now at 3pm i ride there too, its good as they are teaching me completely different things to what my normal school does so between the two places I'm learning fast...

Last week they put me on what i class as a pony though!! i was horrified as it looked tiny, but as i don't weigh a lot they wanted me to feel the difference in the sizes and speed, so it made for a very amusing lesson with Stelli cracking up, she comes along with me now and helps me no end, she likes the little horses and i like the big ones so it gives us both a giggle..

Yesterday thankfully i was put on a lovely big black horse again that i really didn't want to get off, that's the trouble with riding for me... I don't want the time to go, i cant explain how good it feels only that it is a.... I'm so lucky to be alive feeling.......

I haven't been blogging much i know, apologies to you all, but my days have been full and there always seems so much happening this end at the moment, my 'want to do something aches' have turned into aching because of what i did yesterday..lol so at least i hurt because I'm trying to make every day count and experience as much as possible ........ so its the good kind....lol

The suns shining ......so I cant help but feel, ive got to be out there with it and simply enjoy it......lol

Dancing in the rain

Have you ever had experiences through your life when you know no matter how old you get or what happens ,you know that moment will stay with you?

I woke early, the first thing i do is look out of the bedroom window at the sky and smile, there's days when the clouds are looming but there's also days that the weather can heighten experiences and can bring surprises... this morning was definitely a feel good one..

I was choked when they took me off Sorrel (the chestnut horse) i loved riding him and was a bit sick that i could only now sit and watch him , i was moved horses as Sarah said i was progressing well she wanted to see if i could cope and handle shadow (the white horse) it was done for the right reasons and supposed to be a new challenge, but i didn't feel the same when i rode her, shes more powerful totally unpredictable and loves to lead..oops my fella says I was given a horse that's like me.....oops again , i lost some of that feeling i have when i ride and felt sad when i watched Sorrel and his new rider..

Today we pulled up and the whole paddock was full of jumps ! its not a problem for those of you that are used to this, or been riding for years, but to me after just a few months into the class it was a bit nerve racking, my first words when i got out of the car were ... oh shit ! lol

Ive never seen so many jumps in there, i have to lead the class now too and have no sense of direction at all...lol

The girls all laugh Sarah asks if i have my confident knickers on today ..no (not the best day for a G string) they must all be getting to know me pretty well as they just giggle and take no notice of me...

I had the best lesson, every week im learning something new and getting to know Shadow who is definitely free spirited .. she knows she can do these jumps with her eyes closed so decides shes going to lead again... this time i didn't let her, i did so well ...kept her under control, but also gave her enough freedom to work with me, and my god didn't she..........

Every moan Ive had about that horse being too fast I'm taking back, she will make me a better rider, Sorrels easy to ride, but she definitely isnt ! so i was copping out ...lol

We were jumping the whole lesson it was brilliant, the rain started halfway through and i was then on the doubles i had one thing in my head taking those jumps (you're gonna giggle at this)... I honestly couldnt think of a better feeling than that moment, my face was soaked the wind was blowing my hair everywhere yet i felt so good and felt like i was flying.......

It wasn't Sorrel that used to make me feel like that ... it was me.... the girls there are brilliant and support us to the hilt, i got a huge compliment from Nikita when we finished the lesson, she said that not many people can handle shadow properly but i was one who can .................. i sat there on that horse feeling about 13 with my mouth wide open....lol I was actually proud of what id done (it had to be the week my fella didn't come too) lol

Coming home we were giggling about how me and Lauren feel in our time out at the stables together, we go home so excited on a high for the rest of the day and really get taken the mickey out of, but no words can say how it feels or how i felt today, nothing else i have done even touches it (well ok then perhaps one other thing).... lol ....It was exilerating...

I don't want to be put back on the chestnut horse anymore, i want to ride the white horse and feel how i did today... soaked through to the skin by the rain ...but glowing with happiness inside out..

I need to get that G string out more often........lol

Spiritual Lifts

Its Saturday...................yes that means i have a smile embedded on my face, ive been riding...

I got there today and Sarah told me she had changed my horse, another girl had to ride Sorrel so i was put back on the white horse Shadow...yes !

I was a bit nervous at first, as i started out on her but never got to canter or rise & trott on her, as she was too powerful for a beginner , so today was a great challenge....

I didnt realise when i first started the diferences in the power these horses have, but Shadow is an ex showjumper and fantastic to ride, amazingly powerful, so my arms are shaking as i had to keep the reins short and tight, she was a completely different ride very fast, smooth and responsive..

Ive come home in a hyper ... i havent stopped talking since i got back and am completely on a high now for the day, i wanted to ride like the wind and this horse can certainly do that..

6 months ago i couldnt ride, and was taking my daughter for lessons sitting there watching, it was one of the best decisions ive ever made signing up, ive never felt so happy challenged or determined as i am when im there, whatevers in my mind gets left behind, that feeling of being free and wanting to ride like the wind just takes over and im away...

The girls at the stables have turned from instructors into our friends, and saturdays are definately the best days of the week .....

There must me so many things we want to try in life but never do, we either worry about our age or how we may look to others, when i first started riding i was on a lunge rope for 2 weeks in a class full of kids that made me look silly, as they were flying round there without fear, as adults we fear far too much, what we look like to others usually being top of the list.. we shouldnt..

If i had of cared about that side i would never have learnt to ride, even my fella was laughing at me bumping up and down on that saddle completely making an arse of myself for a few weeks..

Its when we dont take ourselves too seriously that you find the fun, age doesnt take away the spirit, you just kill of that fun spirit by not being able to laugh at yourself first...

Ive met all different types of people on my journey so far, but the best people and ones we will remember were always the ones that have a sense of fun...

So if you make any resolutions this year, make that one of them... make a list of stuff youve always wanted to do (and never did) shut your eyes and stick a pin in.. you'll understand then where im coming from today.......... lifes too short, to worry about big houses, status or what we look like, its for experiencing and creating those moments, time can never take away....

high Spirited

Its saturday....... ive been riding again with Lauren... its getting better....lol

Ive been driving my fella nuts talking non stop about how much i love riding, so he came with me to watch... im glad he did...

the last time he came i couldnt sit on the horse properly was scared of anything past walking and its nice that he finally got to see why i love it so much...

My daughter is getting less confident as the weeks go on, which is a shame as shes really good, but shes also scared of rise and trott and cantering, I worked the reverse, i was a bit scared at first but not now..

Im really enjoying the thrill of it all, so dont want to get off...

Zorrel is now my named horse which im really happy about, i love him and he always nuzzles into my boobs when i finish the lesson,(thats where i keep the polos..lol)

I must have impressed my partner anyway as hes going to buy me a hat and gloves now.. yipeeeee

I kitted my daughter out, but never sadly got round to getting myself anything..

Im posting todays photos, which my fella took, my hat as you can see is still the old army cast off (and i dont care) but as you can see what i lack in the hat department i make up for with the smile........

My daughters on Ebony the black pony.......

But today i was cantering round on my own, i didnt fall and it felt amazing, its like riding a wave and just came naturally.... and i havent stopped talking since..........lol

I hope you enjoy the pictures, theres no make up no frills and no decent hat....lol

The last photo i havent got a head either...lol (i dont think he likes the hat much) hehe

but as i dont really care what it looks like, im happy for you all to see me at my worse.......

.......... but totally feeling my best ........

Thanks to this beautiful creature ........

Flying

I did it.................yipeee

I cant believe i actually found the place for the first time ..lol

Not just that my kids were beautifully behaved for me as they all had to sit and watch and ive now been allocated my own horse to ride every week... I got Freedom ! shes the one they thought would be too powerful for me, but the one i really wanted and trust, so its 2 huge acheivements for me today, as i rode well and was cantering round those fields today in my element, with a smile as big as the sun...

I stuck a packet of polos in my pocket and that horse knew...lol she was so beautifully behaved and it all seemed to click into place...where theres a will theres a way eh..lol

I cant wait to tell my fella I DONT need a satalite system if i know noones there to rely on, I can and will do it .....

Someone get me down from up here will you...

im flying today..............

New steps

Yipeeeeeeee.... Its true !! im now the boss again......lol

My partners officially landed himself an excellent job, and starts full time Monday.. god I'm so pleased...

hes back working in a field where he excells so will soon be back overtaking me ...

hes given me a huge boost tonight, i was hoping today would go well and it did..

The one thing ive learnt this year is, don't work with your partner, no matter how well you get on, it doesn't work the work spills over into your social life and if its a bloke he naturally tries to take control..lol (sorry about that if you are male)

Its true though, you tend to let the guy take charge and as mine said today, hes not me and doesn't work like i do, in fact we are complete opposites... he doesn't read (i read everything twice) he likes to sign everything without reading and it makes me have to work like a mad woman to get ourselves out of positions one signature put us in..lol

Its been a huge journey, and made me stronger as a person as i know now i can really dig deep, probably more than i even realised, but someone just took a huge load of my shoulders and put him back in the kind of job he does beautifully so we'll be back to competing again now and ill put him in his place by winning of course....lol (lets hope he doesn't read this) hehe

I love a challenge but this year has tied my hands so firmly up and made me work with people i didn't want to, but now im free..................................

Ive got a list of stuff i want to get into, machines that will be humming by Tuesday and a head full of wonderful things that now will come out without having to discuss anything with anyone ... im now away...

Im now gonna go jump in the biggest puddle i can find, scream at the first person who walks past my house, (get arrested) and watch my fella get back to best....

Hes done wonders to the website shop so has brought many good changes to the business, but hes also going to be able to take what he does best and mix the two, its not sexy talking about clothes all day with a partner, id much rather prefer taking clothes off with no discussions...

I'll get to see him sexily suited up every day and really enjoy listening to what his day has brought, so its great news and reason to really feel excited again....

Right most importantly first things first............ the first thing on my list anyway...

PUT THOSE FLAGS OUT....lol

(estelle were freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

Freedom

Say hi to freedom... lol

I went to my riding lesson yesterday, but as my usual horse is the worst behaved there lol (funny that) and doesn't like Sunshine, rain or wind i was asked to ride freedom, this week another white one... she was lovely..

Shadow threw off the instructor last week due to the weather and she got hurt so, they decided to let me ride another grey this week, shes bigger more powerful but behaved impeccably for me.. bless

My partner came again to watch, but Ive asked him not to anymore for a while i like my Independence and will learn quicker if i know no ones watching, besides he doesn't want me to learn to jump so its probably better that i go alone, i do want to learn...

I drove there this week.... its a breakthrough... i actually found the way, Kimblewick isn't an easy one either its on the way to Dereham, so I'm really pleased with myself, i get to take my car now.....

I was with the group this week, still a little nervous but slowly grasping to just use your feet and bum and leave your hands loose, she caught me a couple of times by spinning circles but im managing to stay on....lol

This week i was trotting happily along on my own, my bum is slowly getting adjusted, but is a little tender, doesn't help that i went and had my bikini waxed just before...lol

but im wearing my g strings happily and really enjoying Saturdays....

My fellas decided hes buying me a proper hat ! every week i borrow one and they are not nice... i got what loke like an army tin one this week which cracked me up, but seems im there to add to my experiences .im not worried what i look like, its what it feels like im interested in.. so yes im posting the picture with the tin hat on....lol just so you can all have a giggle...

Next week im riding with my daughter, so were going on our own in my car with the top down if its sunny... watch it rain.... lol

' What a Feeling '

What a relief !! Ive done it ..........

Ive managed to do everything i needed to do today..........god i am so pleased ...

this has been such a stressful week Ive had so much to do and have been waiting for the time i could say..........

I've finished.....

Ive put in enough items into the new shop to make it look presentable, i have all the extras ready to add nightly and i feel like screaming from the top of the roof .............yes !!!

it got to the point this week i was in tears with tiredness and didn't think i would get it all done in the time i had .........

but tonight I'm being rewarded for my effort with a meal a hot bath and a full night of glorious sleep ...........

phase one is now thankfully complete, phase two i have completed ready, but the final call is down to the people who believe and love what i create ........

they know where i am and the emails are coming thick and fast, Ive even had sales today from a shop that's not open yet...... so i couldn't possibly ask for a better start than Ive been given ........

its been one of the hardest weeks physically Ive had , my skin is crying out for sleep and my house looks like a bomb site................. but for tonight at least......... i couldn't feel more relieved............

i get to rest now for a day or two, then off i start again on the next one ......

i owe a huge heartfelt thanks to you that made this all possible..........

for building my tunnels and standing by me when i most needed the help ...

without you this wouldn't have been possible .............

now its my turn to show everyone what i can do with the gift Ive been given ........

everybody deserves a fresh start and the chance to feel how i do tonight .........

Thank you so much .................... i wont waste it .........xxxx