Proud

Where did Monday go? I missed it!
Things are finally getting sorted out for my fellas sister, the kids start school today, which I'm sure will help them get some normality in their lives. The smallest is adamant he's not going to school, so I expect there may be a few tantrums this morning.. Bless, He wants to come back here as he likes our cooking better than mums.
Next week is my grandparents 70th wedding anniversary! I thought id done well at 20 years with Steve but when I see my grandparents together it really does bring a tear to the eye, they are just made for each other and still very much in love. Granddad was telling me last week when we invited them up for a meal about his erection problems ;) yes literally. He says he gets tremendous cramps in his big toes so sits there all night with what looks like 2 great erections! I nearly choked on my potatoes and couldn't stop giggling all afternoon. My eldest sister went on holiday last year with them and says one night when she took granddad back to his hotel room (rather worse for wear) that he hadn't got into the door when he started. "You are in for a good night tonight Gladys" my sister couldn't shut the door fast enough... lol
Nanny has just gotten over skin cancer at 90 and had an operation on her face last week. She wasn't worried about the operation, just concerned she couldn't have her hair done so its nice for granddad.
I forgot to mention in my last blog about one of my dogs 'Frankie' its a little scruffy thing I named after my best friend when he was alive. She was on a diet with her brother dog 'Dexter' here but got very ill. She lost over half her body weight in 2 weeks and then stopped eating completely! The vets didn't know what to do as she couldn't stand up so suggested I put her to sleep. She is 10 years old.
I took her home that weekend as they couldn't just keep her on a drip to feed her and said that if she hadn't eaten by Monday I would do what was best for her, I couldn't see her suffering like that.
On the Saturday night my tough old fella- who apparently doesn't like kids or dogs, sat feeding her creamed rice on a teaspoon! and she ate it! we then spent £1,500 trying to find out why she was so ill and discovered she had diabetes. 3 weeks after being diagnosed she lost her sight completely, within a week!  We took her out for her usual run in the woods, for her to crash head long into a huge tree!She simply couldn't see it, we both just stood there horrified.
The vets showed us other dogs that coped just fine being blind so we have just adjusted things here to help her. You wouldn't believe its the same dog, she is brilliant! I get up at 6am every morning to feed her and give her insulin and then again every evening, but for a dog that was on deaths door she is inspiring and also very happy. She still goes into the woods every day, just stays on a long length lead that I try and steer for her. Her sense of smell seems to have heightened and she simply smells her way around the house and garden now. I'm glad we didn't give up on her, she is harder work than our other dog, but is definitely worth it.
Sunday was a really good day, my eldest son Ryan was presented with a huge honour 'The Queens badge'
They held a big service and unfortunately we had to sing! with me in hysterics laughing at my fella trying to hit high notes! he's as bad as me! but overall I came out feeling the proudest mum in Britain as all us mums feel with our children. He's 18 now and has spent 12 years working in the community and helping others to get this award, he spent a month down my nanny and granddads community area, along with so many other places, serving up dinners in his spare time and taking 30 elderly people shopping every week! he's one of the most caring, calm and happy people I know, I'm really fortunate to have such lovely kids.
The other boys are 2 years behind him and are now working towards theirs. We will be the 1st family ever to have all the brothers get this award so its something good for the other 2 to aim at now. It also does them good to help others and help their planet and not sit on street corners smoking like most do around here.

Weekends

Well we got through the week somehow! To say it was manic is an understatement.
Things didn't go according to plan as my fella came back with the kids and his sister, he said he felt it was better for her to cut all ties back there. So we have spent the week sleeping on the sofa so they could have our bed. Some things have alarmed me, but we're doing everything we can to help the kids.
They have now all been placed into temporary housing together, its clean and just up the road from us so we can help. Hopefully then after a period of time they will find them permanent housing.
The week was pretty stressful and I was knackered by the lack of sleep and his sisters constant loud voice..lol We don't live like that here, we may have a busy house, but its also calm, she needs to learn a thing or two from her brother. Even my kids hid up!
We didn't get any work done all week, so this week we have lots to catch up on. As well as sort out a school for the kids and doctors etc.

Guests Coming to Stay

Its been a very long night. I've been tossing and turning most of the night worrying.
My fella got a call yesterday from his sister, who lives away. We haven't heard from her for a while so hoped everything was ok, the last we did hear was she was getting married at Xmas out of the blue, she never even mentioned she had a fella!
What has taken place was a spiral of hitting rock bottom, the new husband was a heavy drinker, abusive and lazy, instead of him raising to her standards and cleaning himself up, she sunk to his level and started what now uncovers to end up drinking daily with him and neglecting everything else.
Her two elder kids are old enough to go their own way, but the two little ones (6 and 10) is what's been concerning me, they are really sweet little kids and deserve some stability and security, its not their fault. As from last week they have been homeless, her landlord evicted them so its been garages and friends sofas for a week. Yesterday she woke up and phoned for help, the social services want to take the kids into care until she can get another place to live. She's stayed in the same job for 11 years so has a good job there, what she doesn't have is enough for a deposit and a months rent up front.
We have offered to take the 2 small ones here until she can sort herself out housing wise and get a home ready for these kids, they must have had such a shit time of things recently. I can get them into a local school while they are staying and although we are already squashed with 4 teenagers we are going to make room somehow... It looks like me and Steve will be getting the couch.
My family are all saying I cant take them as I have enough on my plate now, but as long as my lot all help me here with them we will manage just fine. Its better they are with family who love them even if it is a big one, than be taken into care in my eyes.
The kids are really excited they are 'going on holiday to aunties' and arrive today! meanwhile I need to buy some sleeping bags for me and Steve..
You really do have to be mad to live here...lol

Where do i start?

Its June 1st. So I thought it was time I started to write again.
Life has gone on regardless and I'm still kicking, although still non the wiser to what kept stopping my heart. My dongle is still in my chest and no plans to take it out yet. People stare of course, but its just part of me now and it doesn't bother me anymore. I think the most changes that took place was the confidence we both lost. It creeps in slowly that you stop doing things, without realising, but its time now to restart our journey of life again and not let the bumps and bruises win. One things clear in our life and that is 'we are both fighters' Summers coming and so we are preparing for one that we can take time to enjoy this year...
The house has seen so many changes, the kids are growing up fast, and whoever said girls are harder to raise than boys was being honest. My daughter is so much like I was at her age - god help us.
My eldest lad is now 18 and makes me so proud, he's turning out to be a lovely man with what seems the best of us both here.. He has my patience and happy attitude to life and my partners work ethic. The other 3 are at that hard age where you have to try and guide them into a mind set of mum and dad cannot do it all for you forever, so get off your butts and prepare!. Brandon although he has learning difficulties is always up at 6 with me and is the least laziest of the 3..

Things you want in life seem to change as you get older. My fella used to want money and a nice big house and all the trimmings, but doesn't anymore. He just wants time now.. time to walk, explore and just have time to do the things we want to do. My philosophy was always " be happy with what you have, anything else that comes along then is a bonus". He can see where I come from now :)

He has after 20 years agreed that I can have a pond! silly I know, but I find fish and running water peaceful, so I'm turning my once overgrown bamboo garden (which has now been recycled into canes for the allotment growers to share) into somewhere I can potter about in and plant, thanks to 30 old sleepers that have travelled from Norway and lots of hard work. These were sleepers that weren't any good anymore as they are all warped and bent! its amazing to think: one mans rubbish will be one girls dream garden. Nothings not any good, its called imagination and thankfully I still have that!

Its not going to be an ordinary pond, I don't like things that look like everyone else has, this is being created so me and my fella can sit out there with a glass of wine and just relax. The bases are all in so today i'm going to Aylsham car boot sale to pick up some old bits to help add some character.