Physical Attraction

Its been a really good week. We have started swimming every other night. I'm being encouraged by my eldest lad, to do his ab workouts and i have to admit. I'm really enjoying myself.

Everyone gets to the new year and wants to change things, I'm no different there, no resolutions i wont keep just a positive attitude towards myself more and want to feel good.

Sunday I'm stopping smoking! I know this isn't going to be easy, I'm smoked since i was 15 but its a year on the 1st of Feb that my fella quit and as hes a year older than me Ive decided to follow suit. We went through the I hate everyone around me stages.. indeed he was leaving me at least 4 times a week, but hes through that now and encouraging me all the way.. My kids are the same.. I don't want them to smoke, but i did as both my parents did, so this is one family trait I'm cutting off.. If they smoke then its not because their mum and dad does.

I'm already putting into place things to do when i get 'het up', that's probably an understatement as I'm such a grumpy mare when Ive run out of ciggies..lol

Ive joined a health club.. am starting to feel confident enough to walk out of those changing rooms on my own in a bikini now (without vodka i should add) and am now up to 60 lengths of the pool. to then nearly fall asleep in the steam room as I'm knackered.

The men make me giggle as if they see a woman on her own they do kind of indiscreetly follow you in whatever room you are using. last week was the most embarrassing as i had literally nearly drifted off to sleep in the steam room to then be woken up by 4 guys all sitting opposite me gawping... cringe.. they could have been gentlemen and gone round the other side the room was empty but no.. no such luck..

I keep telling my fella I'm gonna buy an all in one swimsuit.. but he hates them and keeps telling me not to worry about other people.. he also threatened not to come swimming with me anyone if i do.. his highlight of the week is apparently seeing me in a bikini.. bless... that's love for you..

Hes caught in a dilemma at the moment as what age is it you look at yourself and think I'm happy as i am? hes gained some weight since hes stopped smoking, but is finding it really hard to get the motivation to exercise as he has a frozen shoulder. I know how painful its been for him as god knows how many nights sleep hes lost through this, but i keep telling him that it doesn't matter what shape he is. Ive been with him 17 years and actually am liking the little bit of extra, as i call it, on him..lol He loves good food and loves his red wine so as long as hes happy, i am too... I'm not exercising for anyone else, I'm doing it because i do want to stop smoking so am gonna do stuff i cant smoke when i do it.. horse riding , swimming, yoga... neither place will allow me to have a fag hanging out of my mouth but will get me equally out of breath as a packet of 20 does..........hehe

Start of the week

My god January is flying by..

This week hasn't been the most amusing. I ended up last Monday being sent to the wrong funeral parlour! My poor uncle was in a state so must have in his grief gave me the wrong place.

The kids and my fella all came with me to arrive at a total strangers farewell service.. What the hell can you say to that situation..

When he came up he gave me the time and place which i wrote straight down on my calender, id arranged for the flowers to go to the undertakers but never managed to go see her off and pay my last respects.... how respectful is that to go to the wrong funeral...... it could only happen to me that's for sure.

If it didn't upset me so much it would have been amusing.. it probably was to all that heard afterwards..lol

I got home in a bit of a state as i couldn't make the other parlour in time so then gave myself a migraine worrying about it, that then turned into a face ache that lasted 6 days and nights.. oh what a week its been.

The dentist thinks being run down and tired as she called it was to blame as abscesses came up on my jaw and face, Ive had teeth trouble in the past, but never as bad as these buggers have felt. A week on scrambled eggs and soup, munching down painkillers and anti biotics trying to get through and not pull my hair out.

I am missing salsa so much. Its been nearly a year since we last went. My fella worked away for 6 months last year on a roofing and cladding job and ended up hurting his shoulder, xrays have now confirmed he has what is known as a frozen shoulder so everyday we are going swimming trying to get it to thaw.. Without the use of it he can't do salsa... so hopefully if we keep doing what we are it will heal and we can get back to dancing with our salsa friends again. he keeps telling me to go alone, but i want to dance with him, not other guys. So ill wait and hope this sorts itself out sooner rather than later.

This week its head down and back into work mode. Ive been going at it really hard for the last year working solidly on the stuff that makes them work, and indeed its going well, but i know theres more i can do so am on a mission to put my heart and soul into my business.. We haven't much of a social life at the moment so i don't mind.

My fellas doing really well, he wont do any more roofing work as it was only supposed to be 6 weeks worth. But his website building and SEO side has taken off big time, so its now going to be all that he does which means i get him at home too.. 6 months without him tells me no matter how much a pain he is, i don't like it when hes not here.. According to him i have no one to moan at so get bored..lol

Tonight I'm horse riding with my friend Mandy down the stables. Out of everything that's changed in my life that has remained constant.. Every Monday I'm feeling the wind through my hair and doing something i love very much. Mondays now are my favourite day of the week..

Welcome 2011

After a much needed break I find myself here for another year, fresh hope and starting a new year.. Lets hope 2o11 brings some good stuff.

I lost a very dear friend on Christmas day, so that hit home pretty hard, so Christmas here has been a bit of a blur non entity, I felt sorry for my kids bless they had such a miserable time.

I'm looking forward to kicking up my riding and restarting salsa, its been 6 months with no dancing thanks to my fella taking a job which took him away from home for months on end.. To top that were still waiting to be paid for it! Christmas came early for this guy..

Ive really missed my salsa and hope the new year brings some sunshine now..

It was a year of operations, illnesses, work work work while juggling a house full of teenage hormones triplets who don't like each other very much and the hope that they would for once clean their bedrooms... Welcome back to life in the madhouse!

Its been too long since Ive been the brown eyed girl.. I feel more like the black eyed one looking at the bags under them this week...

I'm hoping i can change that now and enjoy a new year..

Ive missed my friends........

Happy Birthday Noel

Happy Birthday Noel..

We are still recovering from Saturday!

Have a great day..

xxx

Happy Birthday Steve!

Happy Birthday Steve!

I know you can't be with us mad lot today, but we will be thinking of you..

Dont get too sunburnt up on them roofs and try and enjoy the peace and quiet (at you dont get any here do you!)... lol

The weekend will soon be here and then we can celebrate..

No doubt you'll be hitting those pubs tonight with Liam so enjoy.....

This is your year now.. so lets see how much fun we can make it!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sunshine Feeling

Its been a really good day today. Ive managed to get everything done I needed to do and the suns shining beautifully.. what more could i wish for.

Last night I went riding with my friend Mandy. Its becoming my favourite time of every week now, I'm still totally crap at it, but enjoying the giggles thoroughly.

Phil our instructor has one hell of a sense of humour so gives me tiny horses to ride in a class full of huge ones so its a bit like noddy in with giants, (imagine me trying to sit on a milkshake maker as that's pretty accurate). My arse never stops being sore and I'm constantly making little winging noises when i sit down..lol

We've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes in my website which has been pretty testing as we added a brand new database so I'm trying to learn on my feet here and take over where my fella left off. He decided to go back to sheeting and cladding and started a new job just over a month ago, so is working away from home. Hes loving the work and getting strong again after stopping smoking for good. I'm loving the healthy sun tanned face and arms.. the rest of him is Lilly white, but at least i can see him in the dark :)

This week Ive given myself several goals to get done, including get my fella into a fancy dress costume when he gets back! we've been invited to our friends fancy dress party on Saturday but already he keeps telling me he doesn't want to dress up! its a different story when guys want us to isn't it ......lol

Anyway Ive had some time out got over several hurdles and find myself richer inside for the journey, I hope I'm more patient, grateful Ive got some good people around me and happy to wake up feeling so alive again.

Its so good to be back online and reading up on what everyone's doing, i never realised how important the blogging community is to my day... its been the rainbow through those rainy days...

Grow your own in a thunderstorm

Today has been totally inspiring. Ive potted that many pepper , tomato, courgettes and herb plants outside you can hardly see the floor. I'm totally drenched as yes i got caught in the thunderstorm but hey who cares, its been a brilliant day!

Things have completely changed in my house. There's a balance to everyday life i hadn't felt in a while, the kids are happy, my fellas happy and yes.. even I can say I'm happy.. whats going on!

My fella recovered from his operation very quickly. Its given him a new lease of life and brought a sparkle back to his eyes, hes working away from home at the moment but I'm quite enjoying the challenge of getting everything done everyday, I'm finding myself singing away as the day goes on more and more now.. and standing by my new rule of getting out of the house for some me time everyday..

My dads funeral wasn't a pleasant experience but it also did me good.. We all build up situations in our minds eye of how people see and value us, but no matter what i thought reality smacked me straight in the head when we weren't even acknowledged at his funeral, people move on we all have to accept that, i have... I understand the saying better now about cruel and kind coming together, it did that day and hurt hard but looking back its also allowed me to move on and not look backwards anymore..yesterday was just that its what I'm planning to do with tomorrow I'm concentrating on now... im planning a sky dive but havent told my fella yet so 'ssssssshhhh' please... hes been telling me all week im begining to be my mad self again so ill wait til i spring that one on him...

The weathers been that glorious Ive spent most of my time either out, doing stuff with the kids, gardening and of course riding, its been the best month Ive had in a long while. Sometimes you just need some time out....

My sense of humour seems to be coming back with a vengeance.. (at everyone else's expense of course) I'm eating healthily and trying to get myself back into shape so i can get some photos done, there was a time there where peering into the fridge late at night was becoming a habit so Ive hid all the chocolate and have just got through my first week with no sugar!... to me its as good as smoking in my garden but just as bad for me, so ive decided id take on the bad boys one at a time and see what i can reduce them too..

I do love the thought of giving those bad boys a run for their money...

Greyson Chance Singing Paparazzi

RIP Dad..

March has come and gone and been another tough month, we are still awaiting my fellas operation which is going to happen on the 18th so its not long to go. Things have been pretty much the same here, rollercoater days and sleepless nights thrown in for good measure. One minute hes leaving the next hes not, im not sure anymore if im coming, going or just been......

Today i had some devasting news, my fella came home from his sisters with a newspaper and told me that i had better sit down and read it, we dont buy newspapers but his sister realised what had happened and kept it for me.. Tonight im really thankful that someone considered enough about others to do that..
It was news of my dad, he died last week .......

To say im devasted is an understatement........ and trying to understand why i had to read it by tabloid, hes my dad for christ sake, why did noone tell me? everyone thought someone else had done it, so they simply left it to whoever, whoever turned out to be the eastern evening news.. which tonight has made the pain even more painful...

Preparing for Spring

Its been one of the hardest months ive ever experienced, that's why i couldn't write in here, nothing nice would have come out of my head, there literally wasn't anything in there!

Ive knuckled down accepted the fact its just one of those times of my life that im feeling pretty frustrated so just got on with work.. boring as it may sound, its what i needed to do.

My fellas feeling in pretty bad shape, hes gained a lot of weight since we stopped dancing and has like me put everything on hold. We have been waiting for his operation to come through which did, but when down in theatre they decided its much more complicated than they first thought so they have sent him home to await a bigger op hopefully by the end of this month... I do really feel for him at the moment, hes also not the easiest person to live with either as he stopped smoking also last month so tends to pick holes in just about everything i say or do........oops lol

I keep telling myself its just a phase and i know id be much worse, but im having to bite my tongue quite a bit so i don't bite back ! im the most placid person walking planet earth most of the time, but if i do i lose it (which thankfully i don't ) i will make sure they get the point.. instead im muttering away under my breath, and keeping as far away as i can, that way no one hears me talking to myself either (I have noticed im starting to answer myself though, which is rather worrying)...hehe

The good news my fellas health problem can be cured and sorted out, so once his bigger operation is done, he can get back to feeling good again and start dancing and getting out, so hopefully we can get back to having some kind of life soon..

Whats been happening in between work? are you ready for this? nothing...........................

I haven't (apart from riding) been out of the house at all since xmas, i desperately miss my friends and social life, as i find myself daily repeating the same old jobs here, for the kids to then come home and wreck within the hour, i give up trying to house train them and just kid myself its my job, although my eldest has been really good, hes growing up lovely and turning into someone i like spending time with.. the 'whatever' stage is slowly going, the sense of humour is growing by the day and somehow hes managing to keep up with his diploma and schooling even though he only had 1/3rd of lessons that the other students have, so good for him...

Watching whats happened to my fella, has put me off from stopping smoking, ive cut down drastically which im pleased about, but i really don't want to turn into a grump like he has been either, so im still smoking but only when i need one, and just ignoring his comments through the glass door when i do, as yes Steve i CAN lip read!.. :)

He says its the hardest thing hes ever done and i can see it really is, so its a credit to him thats hes done it, but now hes done this hes decided he can do anything! so is weeding the garden of life ready for spring.......what he means is, anything hes not happy with in his life at the moment hes getting rid of ! I nearly got thrown out with last weeks weeds, but he decided i wasnt so bad afterall and changed his mind.....lol

Im used to a guy that is as kind and as chilled as they come, so its been rather eye opening, seeing the worm thats turned !! I do agree in some areas of this though, its positive that hes changing what he doesnt like, its just all happened overnight with this personality change that came with the not smoking anymore.. he smells nicer im sure, but im not getting in close to find out, im staying behind the line here and minding my own business..hehe

For the first 2 weeks i got shut the F*** up every time i said anything... and then 'Go to bed then if you dont like it' for the next 2, so its been a bit of a roller coaster on my sense of humour track..

This week things seem much better, hes been working from home and seems more like the guy i know again, Ive had cuddles when i didn't expect, quite a few nice things said, and not one 'shut the f*** up yet', so I'm on a roll !.................yipeeeeeeeeeeee

Riding has been my sanity, since Jacks throwing me up against a wall episode, i didn't quit, instead ive been trying week by week to rebuild some confidence, it seems to be working as im enjoying the riding more than ever and looking forward all week to getting there. Sometimes going back to basics brings you forwards in ways, that's kind of how i feel at the moment with life in general, i have to go backwards to be able to move forwards now..

The positive side is ive done no end of work, which is really good, weve built a directory which im now working on populating and am trying new ideas out. Because im stuck indoors my head seems to be screaming to be creative, to keep myself smiling.

Im often working away here, not realising im still working, which has got to be good for the business, I haven't spent this amount of time so focused in years, so although its not been the best month for the soul and feeling happy, it is helping in ways the business should hopefully see the benefits of later...

Im just sitting here waiting for spring to come. So i can spring back to life like the tulips and spring blooms do.. at the moment im buried in muck and feeling pretty hemmed in..

Ive been keeping up with every ones blogs which have been my morning ritual with my cuppa and reading all your exciting stuff that's been happening... thank you for the morning smiles guys.. Im going to invest in one of Roses books soon and hopefully start reading again..

Im also taking the plunge next week and getting Dayle over to dye my hair, ive thought for weeks about changing the hair colour, so next week im going to do it..

I already know the answer now to, 'do blondes have more fun?' (the answer for Feb is a definite NO) so I'm gonna try March in a different shade ....and join the darker side of life

I need to.. if i carry on like this by May ill probably have no Bloody hair left anyway, so what the hell..lol

I may as well give it a go while ive still got some....

Right time for a ciggy...............................hope hes not looking ! lol

Back from Hibernation

After taking some time out, i feel much better in myself.. Quite a bit has happened which i will fill you all in about as i go day to day now.. sorry i wasn't in if you knocked guys..

Where do i start? Christmas was fine, it was quiet and peaceful (ish) my fella and me laid low and enjoyed some time with the kids. I bought one of those Wii games which has managed to keep them entertained,with a fit plus board for me and Steve to get some exercise with.. still the kids manage to beat me with it though, i didn't think i was that un-fit..

The new year has brought so much work, we don't have to do it no, but i want this year to be different and need to get down and dirty to get it, so many nights when we would of been out salsa'ing we've both been working away, hes worse than me and has thrown himself into it, although its not easy at times, i know why hes doing it so try to make the best of everyday and anytime we get together.

Riding has been a blast, I'm still managing to go every week as even when my fellas working, my eldest sits for the rest so that parts good, Phil has taken over our classes and managed to make every week exciting for us all, 3 weeks ago i had my first fall.. and boy it was a cracker, he was giving me the smaller horses to ride as he said my size allowed me to ride both, but as you lot all know me i didn't feel safe on the smaller ones and felt too close to the floor so i asked him for Jack back for a night.. The dreaded black horse who's always in a bad mood..lol

Trouble is i love the horse and rode him alot last year.. well to cut a long story short he was beautifully behaved for me all night cantering round and everything, until the last part of the lesson where he cantered down the straight bucking all the way down :( i managed to stay on for most of it, but he threw me up against the bottom wall .. i did get back on him as i know if i didn't it would cause problems, but he started again, so i changed horses for the rest of class, what i didn't realise is id caught my sciatic nerve and couldn't stand up when it was time to get off.. so i spent a week hobbling around with my fella taking the mickey.. talk about black and blue! it comes with the territory so something i have to get used to.

Ive been back since and loved it just as much as Ive always done, Jack has managed to scare me though which is something i need to work on..

Our salsa has suffered badly as my fella also needs an operation, he was struggling towards the end of last year but thankfully is booked in for Feb/March, once hes had his operation i know hell be back and firing on all cylinders, i really miss my friends there and salsa..

Having said that tonight is the salsa party at the Staithe.. Ive been sulking most of the week as i thought my fella had to work all weekend. His partner is away on holiday so my fella has to send off the data every night for him, i was so pleased when he said he didn't have to work this weekend, it means we can go to the party and hopefully once Mark is back restart salsa again..

Its been a bit like hibernation here, January hasn't been much fun, but in my fellas words, its cold anyway so e may as well work now and take some time off in summer...lol that's his way of getting me to think positive.. which strangely works most times.

I am really looking forward to spring now though.. so who ordered more white stuff this morning?

There are lots i want to do this year, I'm learning day to day what i need to do to get there and putting just enough in to keep myself sanish...

The kids are getting older now, everything slotting into place with them and thankfully calmed down, so perhaps this year my blog will have some of those good things in it..

We will see......

Dance Cuban Christmas Party 2010

Do you think im putting on weight? my fellas face says i am, either that or i sat on something i shouldnt have.......
Its snowing heavy all the roads are slippery as hell and what were a mad bunch of salsa addicts all doing?
1. Tucked up in the warm with hot chocolate?
2.Watching the snow from the windows making lots of ahh sounds in the comfort of their warm homes!
3. Wrapping gift to put under the tree?
DONT BE DAFT.....
We were at the Dance Cuban
Christmas party of course!! hehe
Sharon stole the show with her beautiful dress and was looking totally gorgeous, you should have seen the place when she did her belly dancing..omg was that something else

It was a brilliant night!
Everyone was in such good spirits, especially Richard who seemed to have had plenty of spirit inside him already and was cracking everyone up with his speach...
We had some of the best dancers there from around the country.

We started the night with a lovely sit down meal which i must say was brilliant, the service was so fast and the food was lovely, it was my first gluten free xmas dinner out so one ill remember..

Richard came down from London especially to be part of it and started the party off in style by warming everyone up! All the best dabcers were there Jackie, Nad, Richard, Jose not to mention Sexy Sasha! I have to call him that as all the girls do... and boy cant you see why....... (white shirt ladies...)
All the guests were up and shimmeeing away filling both dance floors..

The music was brilliant as soon as timba came on my fella was up, its fast and addictive and never fails to have everyone up on their feet.

Everyone in the Staithe last night will agree it was another of those never forget party nights, Richard you always know how to throw the best of them..
I'm still slightly hung over so am taking the day slower than usual, i also have the triplets off from school due to the snow to help today, so i can tell them all about it and stick on some music while i work..

Our good friends brought us back some rather special chocolate from Amsterdam from their trip, that i must keep away from the children so tonight I'm going to eat that and make a total hash of the gift wrapping..

But as you can see from my half of the pictures it was worth braving the snow to get to this party..
I'm sure Angela's photos will all say the same thing...

Thanks guys for a hell of a brilliant night, and book us in for next years!
The place was packed so everyone knew how good last years was and this years wasn't any different

My fellas got to have an operation in the new year and as soon as that's done , salsa will become a big part in our lives again.
We've met some wonderful people who we now are lucky to call our friends and are part of something very special..

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
See you all New Years Eve to do it all again..................

The X Factor 2009 - Joe McElderry: Sorry Seems To Be - Live Show 8 (itv.com/xfactor)

The X Factor 2009 - Joe McElderry: Could it Be Magic - Live Show 8 (itv.com/xfactor)

Joe stole the show for me last night.
Love this song and his voice.
I did want olly to win but ive changed my mind over the last 2 weeks, this little guys getting better and better.
Joe to win.......

Sunshine and Clouds

Its been a blurred few weeks, I haven't blogged as i simply haven't had anything good to write, Its all been work for me and being ill , so I'm now on a mission to sort myself out. I missed riding and salsa so badly, but by the time evenings get here i wasn't in any fit shape to do either, so its been a time Ive also reflected on whats important to me and how i can change things for the better to find a happy balance of what i love and have some kind of life back.

Its started when my fella sat me down to speak to me, i was getting pretty down even when i wouldn't admit it to myself, so many changes and balls to juggle it seemed like a never ending pit of 'need to do' stuff.. He was constantly working away so i was trying to help the kids with homework as well as run a business, i was ashamed to call mine...

I decided i wanted to change my website so have now started to do just that, im really enjoying this side of it and its bringing back the reasons why i love it so much, its part of me and always has been, over the last few years Ive had much of my fellas influence involved with my business, as he used to work on the roofs and got to the point he couldn't do it anymore, part of it was his good friend falling off and dying in front of his son, it hits home, they had 4 kids just like us, so it could have been me getting a call just like Simon's wife did. The other part was it was such a physical job and a fit mans world, he would come home soaked through to the skin and be so physically exhausted theres only so much of that a person can take and although the money was good he paid for it in many ways....

We decided then whatever he wanted to do, we would take the steps needed and indeed the risk, and he would learn a new career. Partly as i was treated so crap by several so called website builders and SEO people, he started on his journey of learning all what he could in that field.

The last 30 months has gradually been a build up of the workload hitting heights non of us imagined, we work all day and feed the kids then out come those laptops and off we go again, the lights always on here, regardless if its 4am..its no way to live though.....

I used to moan and feel if I'm honest a bit left out, i didn't understand his new world, but knew the things he was learning would be invaluable both to him and me, so we persevered and found ourselves living on my income for the last 2 years which meant things were a real struggle here, the kids never moan and always tell me i work too hard, but for them i would do anything so you try to smile and be strong for them, sometimes it wasn't easy though.

i tried to look on it as a new future and new adventure but when you are trying to hold up a home with 4 growing kids in it, its not cheap..

My aunt has been i have to say, my guardian angel... shes helped me through thick and thin and is always here for me on those days i wake up feeling exhausted before i even start, she knows just by the tone of my voice when i need help and always manages to make me see some positive in everything, that part of me i felt was lost somewhere buried in the mountain of where was my life heading and how can i get back on track?

I listened when my fella needed to talk, tried to tell him it wasn't him when everyone around him called him stupid and told him to go get a paid job... but we are now coming out of the other side of the cloud, its been one hell of a journey and although Ive had some challenges in my time, I think apart from when the triplets were born too early and the stress and worry we both felt, this chapter in my life comes a close second..

It all came to a head over November as i spent week after week being riddled with migraines as my head simply couldn't shut down, i was asking it questions no one had answers to, including myself... I know now why they call us dizzy blondes........ I slotted into that category perfectly......

Now hes gone off into the big wide world on his new venture things are starting to make sense again, he wont be second best at anything, so has learnt his new job inside out just as i hoped he would... We were living off what takings i took through my site and stock levels were hitting the floor, theres nothing worse than watching something good, disappear slowly like that, i have worked my arse off and worked on this site for nearly 10 years, its my baby yet i felt like it was being strangled......

Over the last couple of weeks, Ive managed to start again in regards of my work, i have found a part of me i thought id lost and wake up again excited about whats to come, the stock room is looking amazing again and has huge promise as everything she takes goes back into her again now so everyday when i wake up i think myself lucky that my fella learns quickly and somehow through all this there was light at the end of the tunnel..

I finally started back riding last night, but for the first time i felt my nerves a little uneasy, would the horse pick up on what i was feeling and was this going to be my rude awakening , but thanks to some bloody good people up there and my teacher Phil they have managed to restore my confidence and i came home totally happy.. My fella had cooked me a surprise meal which was an amazing steak in pepper sauce and I sat there fat and happy, like the cat who got the cream,with the biggest smile on my face and felt something i havent felt in a while 'contentment'..

Tonight we are bribing the kids with a video and getting some salsa tracks on, we both really miss our friends there especially Sharon and Richard as the whole salsa world had become part of us, we have both forgotten our moves so are going to make a start tonight and practise here, hopefully we can rejoin our class again on Thursday and start to find some kind of normality and balance back..

The best part is my fellas partner has now been handed the keys to his new place, so they now have an office that's a stones throw away, and for the first time last night, in i would say over a year my fella came home without his laptop ! Its his new rule of the house and was promised when he said about this new office.. It means no more weeks of working away, just an occasional trip when needed, and my fella and me back on that road of learning to be Steve and Jo again ..

We have had to make big sacrifices and part of it meant we lost ourselves there for a while, but just like my website when i look at her everyday now, its all looking so much better and exciting ..

The futures bright and starting to bring the feeling, that this has all been worth it........

Now we just have to listen to ourselves and dig out that part of us the work load burried..

It takes a cloudy season to make you appreciate, just how good that sun feels when it shines on you doesn't it?

Hopefully now i will have some good stuff to share on here again with my friends too...

WWW.J-LOU.COM

The X Factor Olly Murs Show 4 (Rock Week) - Come Together

He was the best of the boys for me.. This totally rocks !

The X Factor 2009 - Stacey Solomon - Live Show 4 (itv.com/xfactor)

I thought she did so well.. Love the Keane song and loved her performance..

Halloween

Its been a strange couple of weeks, ive hardly seen my fella as his work has taken him away from home quite a bit, by the time weekends get here we are both too tired to do anything so its just been a 'get through period of our lives'.

Last week my eldest was struck down with swine flue so it meant a week of being shut indoors with the triplets all having to stay off school too. I dont think they minded that much though as it meant half term in our house started a week early !

I can say whole heartedly i am so looking forward to next week and them all going back to school, ive been trying to keep them entertained so started to decorate the first bedroom which is the boys, but it was a bigger job than i had antisipated and im still not finished.. theres clothes all along the upstairs hall and paint tubs all around my bathroom...

I understand where they were coming from now when they say a womans work is never done ~ thats so true.

It was amusing though to give 3 kids a 5 litre tin of undercoat and say get on with it, they certainly had a good go.

I did manage to get to riding Monday which was lovely, Phil decided he would make me look like Noddy for a night so along with 3 huge other horses and their riders i was allocated a pony ! yep.. To say i felt embarrassed was an understatement, im small but this little one was tiny, i felt so mean and thought id squash her.

The reason was explained to me though as this little pony used to be used by the kids in classes and has such a free spirit, she takes off at night and escapes the stables (several times) she just decides shes going for a walk and is then usually found miles away, she was also showing her wilder side in the kids classes and was bolting off, leaving the kids either on the floor or scared stupid, so the poor thing isnt being used in their schooling at the moment.

As i was small they asked if i would ride her in my class to gently break her back in as she hadnt been rode for 6 months, if she starts getting used to it again the kids will be able to smother her with love and affection and have her back in their classes, we know shes always everyones favourite because of her character, so i went along with it..

To say she gave me the ride of my life was an understatement!

I have never been that fast on a horse/pony in my life.. my exact words as they told me to canter her round, i cannot say here but lets just say i was swearing rather loudly and laughing my head off ! She was like a mad thing and didnt want to stop! her ears and head were way up and she seemed to really be enjoy herself ~ so was i if im honest.

I went home smiling and although everyone was giggling about it i went to sleep happy.

I get days like that where you just want to run and keep going as fast as you can, it just goes to show it doesnt matter about your size, its whats inside that spirit that allows you do the things you love, isnt it? I hope i get her again, i dont care that we looked like Noddy and Big Ears in with a group of giants, between us we both had a great time and i think ive got over my phobia of not liking to ride the little horses.. she showed me just how much fun ive been missing..

Tonight as its halloween and all the kids are well and happy we are going out trick or treating. Every year my lot all dress up and get so excited, so this week i got them all brilliant costumes and will join in with the fun.Last years mistake of jumping out wearing a witch costume when someone knocked on my door wont happen again (it was one poor little girl standing there all on her own) who i managed to scare the crap out of, she was running down my drive screaming for her mother, who by that time was in hysterics laughing her head off (that was so cruel i know) it must be a mum thing.

But i didnt know she was on her own i promise! all night the local kids were banging on the door and winding me up as much as possible with eggs, so i just thought it was be amusing to give some halloween sprit back.. god did that backfire on that poor little girl.. I bet she wont be back this year!

Im making toffee apples with my fella this afternoon, so have to pay a visit to tescos for some sugar and apples. I'll post the photos of tonight, cook a nice meal and enjoy a night of ghostly festives with the kids...

It will all stop at 8pm anyway here as its X Factor night.. and its my time.......

The X Factor 2009 - Jamie Archer - Live Show 2 (itv.com/xfactor)

This guy has me spellbound...
I felt every word of this song..
Love him......

The X Factor 2009 - Olly Murs - Live Show 2 (itv.com/xfactor)

Talk about giving everyone that feel good factor..
What a brilliant performance...
Noones moved their groin like that since Elvis..lol