Physical Attraction

Its been a really good week. We have started swimming every other night. I'm being encouraged by my eldest lad, to do his ab workouts and i have to admit. I'm really enjoying myself.

Everyone gets to the new year and wants to change things, I'm no different there, no resolutions i wont keep just a positive attitude towards myself more and want to feel good.

Sunday I'm stopping smoking! I know this isn't going to be easy, I'm smoked since i was 15 but its a year on the 1st of Feb that my fella quit and as hes a year older than me Ive decided to follow suit. We went through the I hate everyone around me stages.. indeed he was leaving me at least 4 times a week, but hes through that now and encouraging me all the way.. My kids are the same.. I don't want them to smoke, but i did as both my parents did, so this is one family trait I'm cutting off.. If they smoke then its not because their mum and dad does.

I'm already putting into place things to do when i get 'het up', that's probably an understatement as I'm such a grumpy mare when Ive run out of ciggies..lol

Ive joined a health club.. am starting to feel confident enough to walk out of those changing rooms on my own in a bikini now (without vodka i should add) and am now up to 60 lengths of the pool. to then nearly fall asleep in the steam room as I'm knackered.

The men make me giggle as if they see a woman on her own they do kind of indiscreetly follow you in whatever room you are using. last week was the most embarrassing as i had literally nearly drifted off to sleep in the steam room to then be woken up by 4 guys all sitting opposite me gawping... cringe.. they could have been gentlemen and gone round the other side the room was empty but no.. no such luck..

I keep telling my fella I'm gonna buy an all in one swimsuit.. but he hates them and keeps telling me not to worry about other people.. he also threatened not to come swimming with me anyone if i do.. his highlight of the week is apparently seeing me in a bikini.. bless... that's love for you..

Hes caught in a dilemma at the moment as what age is it you look at yourself and think I'm happy as i am? hes gained some weight since hes stopped smoking, but is finding it really hard to get the motivation to exercise as he has a frozen shoulder. I know how painful its been for him as god knows how many nights sleep hes lost through this, but i keep telling him that it doesn't matter what shape he is. Ive been with him 17 years and actually am liking the little bit of extra, as i call it, on him..lol He loves good food and loves his red wine so as long as hes happy, i am too... I'm not exercising for anyone else, I'm doing it because i do want to stop smoking so am gonna do stuff i cant smoke when i do it.. horse riding , swimming, yoga... neither place will allow me to have a fag hanging out of my mouth but will get me equally out of breath as a packet of 20 does..........hehe