Physical Attraction

Its been a really good week. We have started swimming every other night. I'm being encouraged by my eldest lad, to do his ab workouts and i have to admit. I'm really enjoying myself.

Everyone gets to the new year and wants to change things, I'm no different there, no resolutions i wont keep just a positive attitude towards myself more and want to feel good.

Sunday I'm stopping smoking! I know this isn't going to be easy, I'm smoked since i was 15 but its a year on the 1st of Feb that my fella quit and as hes a year older than me Ive decided to follow suit. We went through the I hate everyone around me stages.. indeed he was leaving me at least 4 times a week, but hes through that now and encouraging me all the way.. My kids are the same.. I don't want them to smoke, but i did as both my parents did, so this is one family trait I'm cutting off.. If they smoke then its not because their mum and dad does.

I'm already putting into place things to do when i get 'het up', that's probably an understatement as I'm such a grumpy mare when Ive run out of ciggies..lol

Ive joined a health club.. am starting to feel confident enough to walk out of those changing rooms on my own in a bikini now (without vodka i should add) and am now up to 60 lengths of the pool. to then nearly fall asleep in the steam room as I'm knackered.

The men make me giggle as if they see a woman on her own they do kind of indiscreetly follow you in whatever room you are using. last week was the most embarrassing as i had literally nearly drifted off to sleep in the steam room to then be woken up by 4 guys all sitting opposite me gawping... cringe.. they could have been gentlemen and gone round the other side the room was empty but no.. no such luck..

I keep telling my fella I'm gonna buy an all in one swimsuit.. but he hates them and keeps telling me not to worry about other people.. he also threatened not to come swimming with me anyone if i do.. his highlight of the week is apparently seeing me in a bikini.. bless... that's love for you..

Hes caught in a dilemma at the moment as what age is it you look at yourself and think I'm happy as i am? hes gained some weight since hes stopped smoking, but is finding it really hard to get the motivation to exercise as he has a frozen shoulder. I know how painful its been for him as god knows how many nights sleep hes lost through this, but i keep telling him that it doesn't matter what shape he is. Ive been with him 17 years and actually am liking the little bit of extra, as i call it, on him..lol He loves good food and loves his red wine so as long as hes happy, i am too... I'm not exercising for anyone else, I'm doing it because i do want to stop smoking so am gonna do stuff i cant smoke when i do it.. horse riding , swimming, yoga... neither place will allow me to have a fag hanging out of my mouth but will get me equally out of breath as a packet of 20 does..........hehe

Start of the week

My god January is flying by..

This week hasn't been the most amusing. I ended up last Monday being sent to the wrong funeral parlour! My poor uncle was in a state so must have in his grief gave me the wrong place.

The kids and my fella all came with me to arrive at a total strangers farewell service.. What the hell can you say to that situation..

When he came up he gave me the time and place which i wrote straight down on my calender, id arranged for the flowers to go to the undertakers but never managed to go see her off and pay my last respects.... how respectful is that to go to the wrong funeral...... it could only happen to me that's for sure.

If it didn't upset me so much it would have been amusing.. it probably was to all that heard afterwards..lol

I got home in a bit of a state as i couldn't make the other parlour in time so then gave myself a migraine worrying about it, that then turned into a face ache that lasted 6 days and nights.. oh what a week its been.

The dentist thinks being run down and tired as she called it was to blame as abscesses came up on my jaw and face, Ive had teeth trouble in the past, but never as bad as these buggers have felt. A week on scrambled eggs and soup, munching down painkillers and anti biotics trying to get through and not pull my hair out.

I am missing salsa so much. Its been nearly a year since we last went. My fella worked away for 6 months last year on a roofing and cladding job and ended up hurting his shoulder, xrays have now confirmed he has what is known as a frozen shoulder so everyday we are going swimming trying to get it to thaw.. Without the use of it he can't do salsa... so hopefully if we keep doing what we are it will heal and we can get back to dancing with our salsa friends again. he keeps telling me to go alone, but i want to dance with him, not other guys. So ill wait and hope this sorts itself out sooner rather than later.

This week its head down and back into work mode. Ive been going at it really hard for the last year working solidly on the stuff that makes them work, and indeed its going well, but i know theres more i can do so am on a mission to put my heart and soul into my business.. We haven't much of a social life at the moment so i don't mind.

My fellas doing really well, he wont do any more roofing work as it was only supposed to be 6 weeks worth. But his website building and SEO side has taken off big time, so its now going to be all that he does which means i get him at home too.. 6 months without him tells me no matter how much a pain he is, i don't like it when hes not here.. According to him i have no one to moan at so get bored..lol

Tonight I'm horse riding with my friend Mandy down the stables. Out of everything that's changed in my life that has remained constant.. Every Monday I'm feeling the wind through my hair and doing something i love very much. Mondays now are my favourite day of the week..

Welcome 2011

After a much needed break I find myself here for another year, fresh hope and starting a new year.. Lets hope 2o11 brings some good stuff.

I lost a very dear friend on Christmas day, so that hit home pretty hard, so Christmas here has been a bit of a blur non entity, I felt sorry for my kids bless they had such a miserable time.

I'm looking forward to kicking up my riding and restarting salsa, its been 6 months with no dancing thanks to my fella taking a job which took him away from home for months on end.. To top that were still waiting to be paid for it! Christmas came early for this guy..

Ive really missed my salsa and hope the new year brings some sunshine now..

It was a year of operations, illnesses, work work work while juggling a house full of teenage hormones triplets who don't like each other very much and the hope that they would for once clean their bedrooms... Welcome back to life in the madhouse!

Its been too long since Ive been the brown eyed girl.. I feel more like the black eyed one looking at the bags under them this week...

I'm hoping i can change that now and enjoy a new year..

Ive missed my friends........