Happy Birthday Noel

Happy Birthday Noel..

We are still recovering from Saturday!

Have a great day..

xxx

Happy Birthday Steve!

Happy Birthday Steve!

I know you can't be with us mad lot today, but we will be thinking of you..

Dont get too sunburnt up on them roofs and try and enjoy the peace and quiet (at you dont get any here do you!)... lol

The weekend will soon be here and then we can celebrate..

No doubt you'll be hitting those pubs tonight with Liam so enjoy.....

This is your year now.. so lets see how much fun we can make it!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sunshine Feeling

Its been a really good day today. Ive managed to get everything done I needed to do and the suns shining beautifully.. what more could i wish for.

Last night I went riding with my friend Mandy. Its becoming my favourite time of every week now, I'm still totally crap at it, but enjoying the giggles thoroughly.

Phil our instructor has one hell of a sense of humour so gives me tiny horses to ride in a class full of huge ones so its a bit like noddy in with giants, (imagine me trying to sit on a milkshake maker as that's pretty accurate). My arse never stops being sore and I'm constantly making little winging noises when i sit down..lol

We've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes in my website which has been pretty testing as we added a brand new database so I'm trying to learn on my feet here and take over where my fella left off. He decided to go back to sheeting and cladding and started a new job just over a month ago, so is working away from home. Hes loving the work and getting strong again after stopping smoking for good. I'm loving the healthy sun tanned face and arms.. the rest of him is Lilly white, but at least i can see him in the dark :)

This week Ive given myself several goals to get done, including get my fella into a fancy dress costume when he gets back! we've been invited to our friends fancy dress party on Saturday but already he keeps telling me he doesn't want to dress up! its a different story when guys want us to isn't it ......lol

Anyway Ive had some time out got over several hurdles and find myself richer inside for the journey, I hope I'm more patient, grateful Ive got some good people around me and happy to wake up feeling so alive again.

Its so good to be back online and reading up on what everyone's doing, i never realised how important the blogging community is to my day... its been the rainbow through those rainy days...

Grow your own in a thunderstorm

Today has been totally inspiring. Ive potted that many pepper , tomato, courgettes and herb plants outside you can hardly see the floor. I'm totally drenched as yes i got caught in the thunderstorm but hey who cares, its been a brilliant day!

Things have completely changed in my house. There's a balance to everyday life i hadn't felt in a while, the kids are happy, my fellas happy and yes.. even I can say I'm happy.. whats going on!

My fella recovered from his operation very quickly. Its given him a new lease of life and brought a sparkle back to his eyes, hes working away from home at the moment but I'm quite enjoying the challenge of getting everything done everyday, I'm finding myself singing away as the day goes on more and more now.. and standing by my new rule of getting out of the house for some me time everyday..

My dads funeral wasn't a pleasant experience but it also did me good.. We all build up situations in our minds eye of how people see and value us, but no matter what i thought reality smacked me straight in the head when we weren't even acknowledged at his funeral, people move on we all have to accept that, i have... I understand the saying better now about cruel and kind coming together, it did that day and hurt hard but looking back its also allowed me to move on and not look backwards anymore..yesterday was just that its what I'm planning to do with tomorrow I'm concentrating on now... im planning a sky dive but havent told my fella yet so 'ssssssshhhh' please... hes been telling me all week im begining to be my mad self again so ill wait til i spring that one on him...

The weathers been that glorious Ive spent most of my time either out, doing stuff with the kids, gardening and of course riding, its been the best month Ive had in a long while. Sometimes you just need some time out....

My sense of humour seems to be coming back with a vengeance.. (at everyone else's expense of course) I'm eating healthily and trying to get myself back into shape so i can get some photos done, there was a time there where peering into the fridge late at night was becoming a habit so Ive hid all the chocolate and have just got through my first week with no sugar!... to me its as good as smoking in my garden but just as bad for me, so ive decided id take on the bad boys one at a time and see what i can reduce them too..

I do love the thought of giving those bad boys a run for their money...

Greyson Chance Singing Paparazzi

RIP Dad..

March has come and gone and been another tough month, we are still awaiting my fellas operation which is going to happen on the 18th so its not long to go. Things have been pretty much the same here, rollercoater days and sleepless nights thrown in for good measure. One minute hes leaving the next hes not, im not sure anymore if im coming, going or just been......

Today i had some devasting news, my fella came home from his sisters with a newspaper and told me that i had better sit down and read it, we dont buy newspapers but his sister realised what had happened and kept it for me.. Tonight im really thankful that someone considered enough about others to do that..
It was news of my dad, he died last week .......

To say im devasted is an understatement........ and trying to understand why i had to read it by tabloid, hes my dad for christ sake, why did noone tell me? everyone thought someone else had done it, so they simply left it to whoever, whoever turned out to be the eastern evening news.. which tonight has made the pain even more painful...

Preparing for Spring

Its been one of the hardest months ive ever experienced, that's why i couldn't write in here, nothing nice would have come out of my head, there literally wasn't anything in there!

Ive knuckled down accepted the fact its just one of those times of my life that im feeling pretty frustrated so just got on with work.. boring as it may sound, its what i needed to do.

My fellas feeling in pretty bad shape, hes gained a lot of weight since we stopped dancing and has like me put everything on hold. We have been waiting for his operation to come through which did, but when down in theatre they decided its much more complicated than they first thought so they have sent him home to await a bigger op hopefully by the end of this month... I do really feel for him at the moment, hes also not the easiest person to live with either as he stopped smoking also last month so tends to pick holes in just about everything i say or do........oops lol

I keep telling myself its just a phase and i know id be much worse, but im having to bite my tongue quite a bit so i don't bite back ! im the most placid person walking planet earth most of the time, but if i do i lose it (which thankfully i don't ) i will make sure they get the point.. instead im muttering away under my breath, and keeping as far away as i can, that way no one hears me talking to myself either (I have noticed im starting to answer myself though, which is rather worrying)...hehe

The good news my fellas health problem can be cured and sorted out, so once his bigger operation is done, he can get back to feeling good again and start dancing and getting out, so hopefully we can get back to having some kind of life soon..

Whats been happening in between work? are you ready for this? nothing...........................

I haven't (apart from riding) been out of the house at all since xmas, i desperately miss my friends and social life, as i find myself daily repeating the same old jobs here, for the kids to then come home and wreck within the hour, i give up trying to house train them and just kid myself its my job, although my eldest has been really good, hes growing up lovely and turning into someone i like spending time with.. the 'whatever' stage is slowly going, the sense of humour is growing by the day and somehow hes managing to keep up with his diploma and schooling even though he only had 1/3rd of lessons that the other students have, so good for him...

Watching whats happened to my fella, has put me off from stopping smoking, ive cut down drastically which im pleased about, but i really don't want to turn into a grump like he has been either, so im still smoking but only when i need one, and just ignoring his comments through the glass door when i do, as yes Steve i CAN lip read!.. :)

He says its the hardest thing hes ever done and i can see it really is, so its a credit to him thats hes done it, but now hes done this hes decided he can do anything! so is weeding the garden of life ready for spring.......what he means is, anything hes not happy with in his life at the moment hes getting rid of ! I nearly got thrown out with last weeks weeds, but he decided i wasnt so bad afterall and changed his mind.....lol

Im used to a guy that is as kind and as chilled as they come, so its been rather eye opening, seeing the worm thats turned !! I do agree in some areas of this though, its positive that hes changing what he doesnt like, its just all happened overnight with this personality change that came with the not smoking anymore.. he smells nicer im sure, but im not getting in close to find out, im staying behind the line here and minding my own business..hehe

For the first 2 weeks i got shut the F*** up every time i said anything... and then 'Go to bed then if you dont like it' for the next 2, so its been a bit of a roller coaster on my sense of humour track..

This week things seem much better, hes been working from home and seems more like the guy i know again, Ive had cuddles when i didn't expect, quite a few nice things said, and not one 'shut the f*** up yet', so I'm on a roll !.................yipeeeeeeeeeeee

Riding has been my sanity, since Jacks throwing me up against a wall episode, i didn't quit, instead ive been trying week by week to rebuild some confidence, it seems to be working as im enjoying the riding more than ever and looking forward all week to getting there. Sometimes going back to basics brings you forwards in ways, that's kind of how i feel at the moment with life in general, i have to go backwards to be able to move forwards now..

The positive side is ive done no end of work, which is really good, weve built a directory which im now working on populating and am trying new ideas out. Because im stuck indoors my head seems to be screaming to be creative, to keep myself smiling.

Im often working away here, not realising im still working, which has got to be good for the business, I haven't spent this amount of time so focused in years, so although its not been the best month for the soul and feeling happy, it is helping in ways the business should hopefully see the benefits of later...

Im just sitting here waiting for spring to come. So i can spring back to life like the tulips and spring blooms do.. at the moment im buried in muck and feeling pretty hemmed in..

Ive been keeping up with every ones blogs which have been my morning ritual with my cuppa and reading all your exciting stuff that's been happening... thank you for the morning smiles guys.. Im going to invest in one of Roses books soon and hopefully start reading again..

Im also taking the plunge next week and getting Dayle over to dye my hair, ive thought for weeks about changing the hair colour, so next week im going to do it..

I already know the answer now to, 'do blondes have more fun?' (the answer for Feb is a definite NO) so I'm gonna try March in a different shade ....and join the darker side of life

I need to.. if i carry on like this by May ill probably have no Bloody hair left anyway, so what the hell..lol

I may as well give it a go while ive still got some....

Right time for a ciggy...............................hope hes not looking ! lol

Back from Hibernation

After taking some time out, i feel much better in myself.. Quite a bit has happened which i will fill you all in about as i go day to day now.. sorry i wasn't in if you knocked guys..

Where do i start? Christmas was fine, it was quiet and peaceful (ish) my fella and me laid low and enjoyed some time with the kids. I bought one of those Wii games which has managed to keep them entertained,with a fit plus board for me and Steve to get some exercise with.. still the kids manage to beat me with it though, i didn't think i was that un-fit..

The new year has brought so much work, we don't have to do it no, but i want this year to be different and need to get down and dirty to get it, so many nights when we would of been out salsa'ing we've both been working away, hes worse than me and has thrown himself into it, although its not easy at times, i know why hes doing it so try to make the best of everyday and anytime we get together.

Riding has been a blast, I'm still managing to go every week as even when my fellas working, my eldest sits for the rest so that parts good, Phil has taken over our classes and managed to make every week exciting for us all, 3 weeks ago i had my first fall.. and boy it was a cracker, he was giving me the smaller horses to ride as he said my size allowed me to ride both, but as you lot all know me i didn't feel safe on the smaller ones and felt too close to the floor so i asked him for Jack back for a night.. The dreaded black horse who's always in a bad mood..lol

Trouble is i love the horse and rode him alot last year.. well to cut a long story short he was beautifully behaved for me all night cantering round and everything, until the last part of the lesson where he cantered down the straight bucking all the way down :( i managed to stay on for most of it, but he threw me up against the bottom wall .. i did get back on him as i know if i didn't it would cause problems, but he started again, so i changed horses for the rest of class, what i didn't realise is id caught my sciatic nerve and couldn't stand up when it was time to get off.. so i spent a week hobbling around with my fella taking the mickey.. talk about black and blue! it comes with the territory so something i have to get used to.

Ive been back since and loved it just as much as Ive always done, Jack has managed to scare me though which is something i need to work on..

Our salsa has suffered badly as my fella also needs an operation, he was struggling towards the end of last year but thankfully is booked in for Feb/March, once hes had his operation i know hell be back and firing on all cylinders, i really miss my friends there and salsa..

Having said that tonight is the salsa party at the Staithe.. Ive been sulking most of the week as i thought my fella had to work all weekend. His partner is away on holiday so my fella has to send off the data every night for him, i was so pleased when he said he didn't have to work this weekend, it means we can go to the party and hopefully once Mark is back restart salsa again..

Its been a bit like hibernation here, January hasn't been much fun, but in my fellas words, its cold anyway so e may as well work now and take some time off in summer...lol that's his way of getting me to think positive.. which strangely works most times.

I am really looking forward to spring now though.. so who ordered more white stuff this morning?

There are lots i want to do this year, I'm learning day to day what i need to do to get there and putting just enough in to keep myself sanish...

The kids are getting older now, everything slotting into place with them and thankfully calmed down, so perhaps this year my blog will have some of those good things in it..

We will see......